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 Teen Poetry #9
 The Searchlight of the Sun
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Passions in Poetry

The Searchlight of the Sun

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Ri
Member
since 02-01-2008
Posts 67
Blackburn, England


0 posted 03-21-2009 10:03 AM       View Profile for Ri   Email Ri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ri


A being lies in a field of grey and green
The due smothered pasture brushing its hands
Overlooking such a splendorous scene
As the searchlight of the sun scans the lands

It wants to be found by the probing orb
Yet the breeze blows cloud billows to bring shade
And all the light in dreary dull absorbs
Whilst the wilting warmth begins to fade

Then the drizzle dampens its existence
but its hopes stay dry and persevering
the searchlight closer, yet still in the distance
The warmth of lifeís love and light is nearing

Then the sun shines bright in such sweet galore
Yet shade prevails and the being feels no more
© Copyright 2009 Rian Mercer - All Rights Reserved
moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 12-24-2005
Posts 2038


1 posted 03-21-2009 04:44 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Not a bad attempt at a sonnet Ri.  It has a few problems, but nothing too serious.  I'll try and get back later, unless my friend Grinch gets to it first.  I think he likes sonnets.

M
Grinch
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since 12-31-2005
Posts 2710
Whoville


2 posted 03-21-2009 07:19 PM       View Profile for Grinch   Email Grinch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Grinch


This is very good, mind you itís bound to be, all the best poets come from Blackburn.

Dark Star
Member
since 02-20-2008
Posts 394
Lost in your eyes


3 posted 03-22-2009 07:54 PM       View Profile for Dark Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Star

hope you find it, your light
 
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