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Passions in Poetry

Free-Write

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Falling rain
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since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


0 posted 03-16-2009 09:52 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Okay this free write is me going out on a limb. And I noticed how I have like no happy poems. Its really sad how the only feeling I can write about is sorrow..
Lost within my crystal shards
Memories lay at my feet
Drowning in pools of tears
That I cry silent at night

Tongue-tied from lies I spoke
Self esteem worn so low
Dragging feet across pavement
Have no clue where to go

Thoughts searching for some sense
Grasping smoke filled reason
Living everyday like the same
Don't know how to be free from this

© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
GothicCherry
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since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


1 posted 03-16-2009 09:57 PM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

Sorrow. Yeah that sounds like a good word for them. I guess once one has been through so much sorrow it begins to consume them. Maybe you could help your poems a little by adding structure. Like sentences or commas to seperate thoughts and emotions.
Falling rain
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since 01-31-2008
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Small town, Illinois


2 posted 03-16-2009 09:59 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

To be honest structure is the least of my worries right now..
GothicCherry
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since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


3 posted 03-16-2009 10:03 PM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

Yea I can bet on that one. Pretty much tha same thing here...
freeand2sexy
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since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


4 posted 03-16-2009 10:10 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

I really like this, I saw a lot of emotion, and I don't think freewrites are meant to be critiqued, so that's all I'll say about that.

I personally think, no matter who you are or what you've been through, it's just easier to write about sorrow and saddness, especially if that's how you feel at the moment.

No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else!

GothicCherry
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since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


5 posted 03-16-2009 10:12 PM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

I think darkness and BLAH are easiest to write about. && yeaa.. I just said tha structure thing cuz what we were txting about Zack. idr now tho.
 
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