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Falling rain
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0 posted 03-13-2009 12:58 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain


Write myself out of every love song
Because they only end in pain
Broken memories stretched thin
My voice going strain

Please don't get me wrong
I walked in this open heartiling
Luring me with a smile
And lips that kept me wondering

I was wrapped around her finger
Her eyes have a strong hold
Velvet voice oh so sweet
Singing words of gold

She had control of my strings
A puppeteer behind the wheel
Blind to all the wrongs
Everything seem to appeal

Euphonius to my ears
Always knew what to say
Live up to every command
Getting lost along the way

Write myself out of every love song
I end up losing in the end
Where right and wrong are missing
And I end up losing another friend  



© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
freeand2sexy
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since 09-12-2008
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1 posted 03-13-2009 07:32 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

um...

Wasn't your best, I felt like there were a lot of forced rhymes.(just my opinion)

No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else!

Falling rain
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2 posted 03-13-2009 10:48 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

you have no idea
It was just so hard to rhyme..
freeand2sexy
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since 09-12-2008
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CA, USA


3 posted 03-14-2009 01:23 AM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Maybe you should write some non-rhyming poems or if you're still having problems with writer's block, try some freewriting, just for the fun of it. It can inspire you to write other poems, and plus its fun writing whatever just pops into your head, anyways.

No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else!

GothicCherry
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since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


4 posted 03-15-2009 05:43 PM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

I would like to see from non-rhyming poems from you as well. It would be awesome to see what you can do without the restrictions of rhyme. Plus, I hate rhyme lol

I did enjoy this beyond the forced rhyme tho. I didn't even notice the rhyme in most of it.
Falling rain
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5 posted 03-16-2009 05:02 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Well the thing about free writes is that one line will go short, the next long. The rhythm of the poem goes off and it sounds horrible. That's why I rhyme. It keeps me restricted a little.

-Zach  

When I see your smile, and I know itís not for me, thatís when Iíll miss you.

freeand2sexy
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6 posted 03-16-2009 05:16 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

I totally understand, Zach, trust me, I love rhyme, but the truth is no rhyme is so much better than forced rhyme.

And freewrites don't have to be good, there just there to inspire you, to help you start writing an actual poem. Freewrites can be about anything and about nothing at the same time, it could be a list of you naming a bunch of cereal brands or about fruits or whatever, freewrites are there to make you think, they're not necessarily a poem.

No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else!

Falling rain
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7 posted 03-16-2009 08:53 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Yeah. But its like, I'm more of a story writer. That's what I do in poems. I can't write something totally random. It has to be something that I can describe and give imagery. I can't really write a message into my poem. Trust me I've tried. I'm just losing what talent I have in writing.

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know itís not for me, thatís when Iíll miss you.

GothicCherry
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since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


8 posted 03-18-2009 08:39 AM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

Well, I'm just losing my talent in everything. I doubt you are losing your writing talent. You probably just can't think of anything to write about.
 
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