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Passions in Poetry

that day (please read me and comment)

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kiwie15:D
Junior Member
since 03-05-2009
Posts 13
california


0 posted 03-05-2009 08:55 PM       View Profile for kiwie15:D   Email kiwie15:D   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kiwie15:D

its something i have been wanting to show people
i hope you like it

---------------------------------------------------


i'll never forget the date
i was picked up after school
to find a sad surprise
that just came too late

i couldn't here a thing that day
i could barley even see
though my mom tried telling me it was okay
water from my eyes wouldnt go away

once it finally set in
i could breath again
but the thought kept running through my head
what could i have done or said

i miss him
i miss him so much
the last words i said to him were
i love you , but i was in such a rush

i'll never forget the date
march 5, 2008
the day my grandfather died
wont stop eating me up inside

© Copyright 2009 sarah luna - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 03-05-2009 09:16 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Sarah...

I'm really sorry for your loss. I just lost my dad this last May. Grieve how you want. Let the hurt out, poetry is a great place for it.

suggestions would be to check your spelling on here /hear

and please know that you will be read, you don't need to put that in the title

it's a good group here, I think you will fit right in

and? I'm sorry you are hurting.
KandyGrl511
Member
since 11-30-2008
Posts 52
Michigan


2 posted 03-05-2009 09:52 PM       View Profile for KandyGrl511   Email KandyGrl511   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for KandyGrl511

that makes three us who just lost people that are very special to us.i had also lost my dad recently past in november. sorry for ur loses!

<3 i love u<3

GothicCherry
Member
since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


3 posted 03-05-2009 10:36 PM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

Hmmmm, I had a feeling to laugh when I read where you accidently put 'barley' instead of 'barely', it didn't fit the mood at all so I held it in.

I am sorry for your loss.

It was difficult for me to read this out loud. Maybe after completing your poems you should read them aloud to see if they flow well to you or not. Just a suggestion. =]]

Welcome to PiP.
Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


4 posted 03-06-2009 07:50 AM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

This was a very emotional write and I can see that in your words. I know grieving is hard for everyone because its a challenge of our very own. Only you can get over it but people here will be here to help you along the way. Stay Strong Sarah.

And great poem by the way.
Welcome to Pip,

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know itís not for me, thatís when Iíll miss you.

Britt_Brat
Junior Member
since 03-05-2008
Posts 37
Knoxville, TN


5 posted 03-06-2009 11:01 AM       View Profile for Britt_Brat   Email Britt_Brat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Britt_Brat

I'm sorry for your lost. i lost my grandma last year. its really good write you can really see that. just watch the out for spelling. and welcome to pip talk.

cut and bleeding

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