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Teen Poetry #9
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Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-02-18 02:54 PM


Okay so the pattern is 8,6,8,6. I think this was an okay poem. At least I got the pattern down.. right? Enjoy?  


Looking Glass


Looking upon the mirror glass
Sinking deep, drowning fast
Oh whose that stranger that I see
It's anyone but me  

It stares; giving a smile coy
Its just a fragile boy
Never amount to nothing more
His wings will never soar

His tears etch deep within his past
Mesmerized in the glass
Who is that stranger that I see
It's anyone but me

© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
1 posted 2009-02-18 03:21 PM


Yay!!!! you got the pattern down. This is great, now you just need to focus on the meter and where the stresses are. The consistent pattern is really good, tho!!!

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
2 posted 2009-02-18 06:04 PM


Ok, I'm going crazy.

The pattern really is perfect and I like the idea. Now, my turn to get something right.

Aside: Like that will ever happen.

Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England
3 posted 2009-02-19 05:56 PM


This is a great work Zach. You got the pattern down perfectly without losing any imagery or feeling.

Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told.

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