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 Looking Glass
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Passions in Poetry

Looking Glass

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Falling rain
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since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


0 posted 02-18-2009 02:54 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Okay so the pattern is 8,6,8,6. I think this was an okay poem. At least I got the pattern down.. right? Enjoy?  


Looking Glass


Looking upon the mirror glass
Sinking deep, drowning fast
Oh whose that stranger that I see
It's anyone but me  

It stares; giving a smile coy
Its just a fragile boy
Never amount to nothing more
His wings will never soar

His tears etch deep within his past
Mesmerized in the glass
Who is that stranger that I see
It's anyone but me
© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


1 posted 02-18-2009 03:21 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Yay!!!! you got the pattern down. This is great, now you just need to focus on the meter and where the stresses are. The consistent pattern is really good, tho!!!

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

GothicCherry
Member
since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


2 posted 02-18-2009 06:04 PM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

Ok, I'm going crazy.

The pattern really is perfect and I like the idea. Now, my turn to get something right.

Aside: Like that will ever happen.
Suncleaver
Member
since 01-18-2009
Posts 480
Stafford England


3 posted 02-19-2009 05:56 PM       View Profile for Suncleaver   Email Suncleaver   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Suncleaver

This is a great work Zach. You got the pattern down perfectly without losing any imagery or feeling.

Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told.

 
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