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Teen Poetry #9

garden of light

purefiction
New Member

since 2009-02-17

Posts 1
Florida

0 posted 2009-02-17 04:40 PM

Garden of needles bloom and
stab native vegetation.
Light rays reflect off thin shards
squinting gray eyes
of guilty bystanders
as they collapse,
fertilizing innocent soil.
Keen edges breach the earth
rising to the face of man to
sew chapped lips.
Their muffled voices impair responses
to my questions
as I sprint above the surface
of sharp edges.
No sin to weigh my body down
to a porous sponge.
Floating alone, the needles grow and warp,
upholstering the earth apart,
cross-stitching breathing bodies
into a fantastic quilt.
Nothing strong enough to
cut through roots that strangle the core.
The world seizes it's rotation;
blinding other worlds.

-Alex

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2009-02-17 05:05 PM

Hey! Welcome to Piptalk. I really like your imagery in this poem! You paint a pretty picture. Keep it up!

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

2 posted 2009-02-17 05:29 PM

Wow, you have very good imagery in your poem.

"No sin to weigh my body down"

This is my favorite line.

Oh and welcome to Pip!!!

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2009-02-17 05:55 PM

loved the ending...very nicely done

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