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 My home, my grave
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Passions in Poetry

My home, my grave

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freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


0 posted 02-11-2009 07:28 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy


I致e been walking through this narrow cave
Hollow, darkness roams through the damp air
I wonder is this where I should stay
To live without tender loving care

Is this my escape or is this home
Is this my fate, where I知 meant to be
Where I overcome my fears, alone
And live through my own insanity

This could be all mine, right where I stand
A place to leave my old life behind
I値l finally find out who I am
In this lonesome cave I値l have my time

I sit in the dark stillness of day
Crying painful tears I cannot see
The consequence of running away
Once thinking that this would set me free

Now I wonder why the ground must shake
Or why fear fills my body and soul
I start running but then hit the brakes
Realizing I知 stuck in my own home

Were rocks of my dwelling meant to fall
To suffocate me here where I lay
Hidden from the world behind a wall
Left to die with a sense of dismay

Now how could anyone rescue me
Stuck as I知 gasping for life and air
Till the final moment that I breathe
I値l question if anyone will care

That this, my own home, is now my grave



With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

[This message has been edited by freeand2sexy (02-11-2009 09:48 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


1 posted 02-12-2009 02:17 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

At first, I felt confusion emanating from ur words. The decision seems to be looming over ur head, like the clouds we've been having lately. Although it was subtle, I really liked the anxiety that replaced the confusion, and then the horror that followed.
Lol, I'm deeply afraid of being alone, so ur poem really struck a chord. :]

There is power in the pen.

stil_watrs_run_deep
Junior Member
since 01-05-2008
Posts 14
missouri


2 posted 02-12-2009 05:11 PM       View Profile for stil_watrs_run_deep   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stil_watrs_run_deep

i really enjoyed your poem =]
i could actually feel the emotion that you put into it!
GothicCherry
Member
since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


3 posted 02-15-2009 10:58 AM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

Love it!! Wonderful metaphors. You painted it well and kept me intrigued
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


4 posted 02-15-2009 06:44 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

thank you guys, it actually isn't as good as it could be, i had to fix it and take out the cliches, the poem i reposted in critcal analysis is slightly better, but only slightly.

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

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