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Teen Poetry #9
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| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Octave Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186Highlands, Scotland. |
I don't really like doing non-rhyming, as you are about to see. ERORR: I can’t help it If I don’t like that Panicked feeling That compresses me when You Get Too Close. It’s not that I am Cold hearted Or just Lonely I can’t quite explain That feeling of Swallowing fear. I don’t want this. This feeling of Pressure That surrounds me when you Touch me Or even just Get close. I feel like I am Separate From the rest of the world That I live in my Own bubble On My Own. I can’t help it I don’t want it But You can help me Just don’t Get Too Close. |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
i feel your emotion here. its really good. i loved your word choice because it made my head really think about exatly what you wanted to get across. i know the feeling thats displayed here. |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
I can totally relate and i normally don't care for non-rhyming poems but i really enjoyed this one! With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
You did well writing this poem. I prefur ryhming better though.  What makes this poem special is that you get your emotions across in short burst of writing. I like that. -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Personally, I like to write free verse these days. Rhyming is very difficult now. Lol, but I digress. Hmm, I think that although ur words were plain by themselves, ur emotions and intentions gave them color and life. Good job! It must be strange writing in a style ur not used to. There is power in the pen. |
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