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Passions in Poetry

Colors

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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


0 posted 02-08-2009 02:01 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

im looking and looking
for the answers
that are o so hard to find
but i cant give up hope
i must see the horizon

send away send far away
i can see the colors
from reds and blues
to all other hues
they escape for comfort

they feel safe
i feel so safe
when the fire burns brighter
stay awake lets stay awake
we can count the stars

say its true
i need to hear it from you
tell me, tell me
your secrets
little letters
and long lost notes
are the reason we're here now



~ you cant run from yourself ~

[This message has been edited by Clockwork_Orange (02-08-2009 05:42 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
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since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


1 posted 02-08-2009 03:46 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

This is pretty good. All I'd have to say is you misspelled a couple words. "oh" and "so" were the words I think. But over all good.

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know itís not for me, thatís when Iíll miss you.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 03-23-2007
Posts 623
Space Camp, IN


2 posted 02-08-2009 05:33 PM       View Profile for Clockwork_Orange   Email Clockwork_Orange   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Clockwork_Orange's Home Page   View IP for Clockwork_Orange

so is spelled right. and i was just too lazy to put the h in oh. i figured people would understand.

~ you cant run from yourself ~

Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


3 posted 02-12-2009 02:32 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

Every time you repeated a phrase, it felt like a need for reassurance. The overall tone seemed hopeful?
Anyway, the main thing that stood out was how the whole thing flowed.

There is power in the pen.

 
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