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 I Cannot Love You Anymore
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Passions in Poetry

I Cannot Love You Anymore

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rebelangelv
Senior Member
since 05-28-2007
Posts 541
usa


0 posted 02-07-2009 04:56 PM       View Profile for rebelangelv   Email rebelangelv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for rebelangelv

Thereís something that I need to say
Please donít turn your eyes away
Listen good and listen well
For this is something hard to tell
I cannot love you anymore
My heart is broken and thoroughly tore
It gets harder day by day
To see you love, then walk away
It hurts when youíre gone
I feel as if I did something wrong
But when youíre near, I remember times past
The reasons why our love couldnít last
I have thought this through
And the problem is you
But whether here or there
It hurts so much because I care
Therefore the solution is me
I must now let my heart be free
So, goodbye love, I leave you now
Weíll move on and survive somehow

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

© Copyright 2009 leah nelson - All Rights Reserved
rebelangelv
Senior Member
since 05-28-2007
Posts 541
usa


1 posted 02-07-2009 04:59 PM       View Profile for rebelangelv   Email rebelangelv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rebelangelv

hey guys, this is kinda just a rough draft so please help me out. there are a lot of lines that i really don't like, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks guys!

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


2 posted 02-07-2009 05:32 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

I like this a lot. I know how the feeling is.

"I must now let my heart be free"
That line was off. I think it should be "Please set my heart free". What do you think?

I think its pretty good over all.

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know itís not for me, thatís when Iíll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


3 posted 02-08-2009 10:19 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

I really liked this, probably because i can relate, but i have to disgree with Zach, i don't think you should change the 18th line. That part sounds good to me, but i guess that's jus my opinion.

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

rebelangelv
Senior Member
since 05-28-2007
Posts 541
usa


4 posted 02-09-2009 08:49 PM       View Profile for rebelangelv   Email rebelangelv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rebelangelv

thanks u guys
i kinda like that line too but ill look into it. thanks again

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

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