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Passions in Poetry

Beautifully Broken

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Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


0 posted 01-17-2009 10:13 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

Okay, I edited it and made some changes so that it wouldn't get taken off this time. Hope it works...


Down in the depths
I lay here—paralyzed.
Not being able to move,
But feeling all the pain in me.

My neck aches and my wrists burn,
All the emotional pain in me…
Wanting to scream its way out.
But I shouldn’t let it out, “keep it in.”

I felt myself sinking into the sidewalk,
My heart yelling at the people around me.
I see the knife just two feet away,
And my fingers grasp it for relief.

The blade against my skin feels cold,
Almost refreshing from the heat of day.
My mind goes blank for almost a second,
but I can't do it and the knife drops to the cold cement.

There's got to be another way,
another way to deal with all this pain.
Please will someone help me find myself,
and help me remember how being "happy" is...

Somewhere on another sidewalk
another person lay's just like me,
hurting and wanting a way out.
I'll find them...and we can help each other.

?ul!@nn@

these broken pieces of my heart are to shattered to be put back together again

© Copyright 2009 Julianna - All Rights Reserved
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


1 posted 01-17-2009 10:26 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Okay this poem is just wow! I really like it. Especially the last stanza! Its just wow.

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


2 posted 01-17-2009 10:29 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

thanks zach. this is a whole lot different than the other version, lol. so i'm glad its getting some feed-back early on.

?ul!@nn@

these broken pieces of my heart are to shattered to be put back together again

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


3 posted 01-18-2009 07:36 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Wow, this really spoke to me, i guess i'm another person looking for another way. the 5th stanza spoke to me the most. Good job, hope you find your way out!

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


4 posted 01-18-2009 07:38 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

thanks, i hope so too...i'm tired of being like this.

?ul!@nn@

these broken pieces of my heart are to shattered to be put back together again

Penwing
Member
since 07-27-2009
Posts 73
Waverly, MN


5 posted 07-27-2009 06:18 PM       View Profile for Penwing   Email Penwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Penwing

i love it!!!! it truely defines how some of us feel i hope you can find a way through your tough times and know we all support you

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


6 posted 07-27-2009 06:37 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

thank you.

julianna

.:.:~]you clicked your heals and wished for me[~:.:.

Penwing
Member
since 07-27-2009
Posts 73
Waverly, MN


7 posted 07-29-2009 10:24 AM       View Profile for Penwing   Email Penwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Penwing

your welcome, keep on writing, and know you always have friends here
crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


8 posted 08-03-2009 02:26 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

Amazing poem, It's very sad but its good.  You created tone well.  I hope you feel better soon.

Rileigh
Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


9 posted 08-03-2009 03:26 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

thanks, crosscountry83!

julianna

.:.:~]you clicked your heals and wished for me[~:.:.

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