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Passions in Poetry

True Love

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broken_smile1469
Member
since 07-02-2006
Posts 104


0 posted 01-12-2009 03:18 PM       View Profile for broken_smile1469   Email broken_smile1469   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for broken_smile1469


Its inexplicable, I donít know what to say
Its like, I love you more than anything
You take my breathe away.
But thereís more than that, words canít explain
The butterflies I feel
Everything is perfect
Everything is real.
You are the world to me
I just canít believe something like this
Truly can exist, can it really be?
Someone Iíve never met, someone I know so well
Someone who I never want to be without
Someone who has my heart, more than I could ever tell.
I am in deeply in love..
Taken in by that smile and those eyes
You capture me again.. I want to be with you
Until the day I die.
Its like Iím floating above the ground
And never do I ever want to come down.
You bring me so much ecstasy
Never leave my side.
Promise to be my husband
And stay with me for the rest of our lives.

"in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop"

© Copyright 2009 Miranda Nelson - All Rights Reserved
young_blood
Senior Member
since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


1 posted 01-12-2009 03:24 PM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for young_blood

Haha... This is cute. At first I was kinda rolling my eyes, but it's persistent innocence is contagious.
lovelyswagg14
Junior Member
since 05-17-2009
Posts 12
Irvine,California


2 posted 05-20-2009 09:16 PM       View Profile for lovelyswagg14   Email lovelyswagg14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit lovelyswagg14's Home Page   View IP for lovelyswagg14

I got confused at the part were you wrote
"Someone Iíve never met"
How could you not have met him?
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 01-20-2008
Posts 887
Neverland


3 posted 05-20-2009 09:56 PM       View Profile for XxForever.BrokenxX   Email XxForever.BrokenxX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for XxForever.BrokenxX

Cute.
I know exactly how you feel.

{~~*~~}


Lacrimosa Dies Illa
[Oh that tearful day]
    {~~*~~}
Kalysta
Junior Member
since 04-02-2009
Posts 41
Ohio


4 posted 05-20-2009 10:13 PM       View Profile for Kalysta   Email Kalysta   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kalysta

I like the beginning,but the end needs some work. I think you should take the part about "be my husband" out. I dont think it fits and makes it seem kinda obsessive.

~Kalysta~

~Kalysta~

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