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 So easy to turn Dreams into Nightmares
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Passions in Poetry

So easy to turn Dreams into Nightmares

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Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


0 posted 01-10-2009 07:00 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain



Light shines through the tree top canopy.
Golden feathered birds build their nest.
Meadows stretch far and wide.
Sun hanging in the west.

Honeydew fragrance lightens my soul.
White flowers brush up against my skin.
My silk dress flows and dances with the wind
bringing eternal peace from within.

Sitting by the bubbling spring
while the crickets hum their song.
The sky's colors are going black
The night is growing long.

The moon comes out from behind a cloud
Mysterious whispers in the night.
Filling my nerves with adrenaline
and my heart with darkened fright.

I hear the wolves howl up to the sky
A mournful terror in their cry
Blood hanging on their teeth
Cold air let out with a sigh.

I run past the trees and plants
Finding my own escape from this world
The dark is chasing after; running close
I can smell the flesh on his breath and feel the nails as they curl.

My dress gets caught and I feel their grip,
holding me down; waiting for me to scream
I'm trapped within a nightmare
I'm held captive in their scheme.

© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 01-20-2008
Posts 887
Neverland


1 posted 01-10-2009 08:10 PM       View Profile for XxForever.BrokenxX   Email XxForever.BrokenxX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for XxForever.BrokenxX

I like the twist that you gave it; how everything just all of a sudden went wrong. Things like that make a poem real.
Great write..and kinda different (in a good way).

{~~*~~}

Miss.Emmalee

"Who the **** are you?!!?.. GET AWAY FROM MY LIMO!!"

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


2 posted 01-11-2009 08:01 AM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

this was really interesting, but i loved it. you did an amazing scheme with the rhyming and everything turned out really well. great job! (library)

.:~]Julianna[~:.

waiting for you to notice me, touch me, hear me, love me...ask me for something other than gum.

Abbeon
Member
since 11-30-2006
Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder


3 posted 01-12-2009 05:19 AM       View Profile for Abbeon   Email Abbeon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Abbeon

I cant ecascpe the nightmare, set me free. Your words are continuing to haunt me.

Words have power, Im going to unleash the power of my soul.

young_blood
Senior Member
since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


4 posted 01-12-2009 10:34 AM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for young_blood

This was pretty good. I liked the imagery, you did a good job of painting the scene. My only criticisms are small. The lines in the first stanza are very abrupt, it makes it difficult to read fluidly.

"Finding my own escape from this world"

In this bit, "my own" is very redundant. You can just put "my" and that is sufficient enough for possession.

I did like how casually you rhymed things. Keep up the work.
 
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