that So Cal
"You said we wouldn't be another summer fling
We'll last till Christmas, if not forever
But look what you did to us
We're torn apart and severed
You said you hated yourself for what you did to me
You promised I wouldn't have another New Moon
But history repeated itself
You replayed your part que to que
Exhausted and angry,
I can't wait to live my life;
To escape this vicious cycle
and cut up my old ties
You said that you loved me
"Forever" in my ear you sighed
I found that you cannot love because...
A few changes, but I don't know if it's an improvement. It might've changed ur overall meaning, but it was a bit confusing cuz of the lack of punctuation.
Overall, it wasn't too bad. I liked the Twilight reference :]
There is power in the pen.