How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Main Forums
 Teen Poetry #9
 My Dear, Lost , Beloved Best Friend
 1 2 3
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Acies, Dopey Dope, SEA   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

My Dear, Lost , Beloved Best Friend

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
rebelangelv
Senior Member
since 05-28-2007
Posts 541
usa


0 posted 01-05-2009 10:13 PM       View Profile for rebelangelv   Email rebelangelv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for rebelangelv

wrote this a while ago..was comign out of my writer's block so it kinda sucks..but tell me what u think

It's just one of those days
Where life's got you down
You're just caught in the dump
While the world's spinning around

Feeling so alone
Never able to tell
Whether life will be good to you
Or bring you to Hell

Some days I can forget you
The facts I can just ignore
Other times I'm depressed
Feeling my heart that you tore*

I miss you forever
I'll miss you to the end
I will not ever cease to miss you
My dear, lost, beloved best friend

You were completely meant for me
You became part of my soul
Now with you gone
I find myself unwhole

I hope your life is good, my friend
I pray you never go astray
I wish to see you again in Heaven
And that never again your friendships fray

I'll be your gardian angel
Who watches over you at night
The one always standing on the sidelines
Witnessing the rises and falls of your life

For now I say "goodbye"
But hope to soon reconcile
I love you my friend, take care, stay in Christ,
For this earthyly pain shall only last but a little while.

* i dont like this line at all but i couldnt think of anything else..any suggestions?

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

© Copyright 2009 leah nelson - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


1 posted 01-05-2009 11:06 PM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

"I will not ever cease to miss you" Um...I don't think ur supposed to have "not" and "cease" right next to each other...But I may be wrong.

As for the third stanza, how about this?
"Some days I'll forget you
The facts I'll just ignore
Other days I remember
The torn heart I once bore"

There is power in the pen.

rebelangelv
Senior Member
since 05-28-2007
Posts 541
usa


2 posted 01-05-2009 11:09 PM       View Profile for rebelangelv   Email rebelangelv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rebelangelv

oooooo i like that!!! u dont mind if i change it to that do u??
thank u!!

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 10-23-2007
Posts 330
that So Cal


3 posted 01-09-2009 01:21 AM       View Profile for Assassin_of_Verse   Email Assassin_of_Verse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Assassin_of_Verse

Of course! Go right on ahead!

There is power in the pen.

rebelangelv will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Main Forums >> Teen Poetry #9 >> My Dear, Lost , Beloved Best Friend Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors