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Teen Poetry #9
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Ri
Member
since 2008-02-01
Posts 67
Blackburn, England

0 posted 2009-01-05 10:31 AM


I stare into the abyss,
of the fluidity showing my reflection,
Feeling nothing but the cruel wind against my face,
yet nothing lasts forever, and forever is nothing.
I am deserted but for my own image,
staring straight back at me, unmoving, unforgiving.
The water beckons me to come closer,
to distort my only companion,
to feel the icy grip of death.
I realise how quiet it is,
with no mechanical faces directed at me.
My isolation is short-lived,
as I watch a soaring creature,
swoop from Heaven to take life.
Unmoving, unforgiving, like nature itself.
Yet it isn’t respected, isn’t noticed,
like the pathetic life of anybody who tries to be somebody.
All that is fair must fade, and all that are loved must diminish.

I stare into the abyss,
of the fluidity that shows my reflection,
waiting for my saviour to swoop down from heaven,
yet they could presently walk this land,
unknown, unloved, seeking the very same joys.
For we are placed on this world,
with so little seen and so much done.
The most beautiful things remain unknown, unloved.
I am not alone, but in public solitude.
Faces don’t disguise their pity;
mechanical smiles don’t disguise their revulsion.
They think it odd,
to find someone alone, friendless
Unnatural.
Yet this is where I love to go;
It is the most natural part of life that I know.
Alone, I admire the solitary beauty
But for the many mechanical mouths ‘merry’

© Copyright 2009 Rian Mercer - All Rights Reserved
Assassin_of_Verse
Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330
that So Cal
1 posted 2009-01-05 10:59 PM


"Faces don't disguise their pity" Nice.

Ur poem was thought provoking and made me read it over again. For example:
"I stare into the abyss,
of the fluidity showing my reflection,"

That kinda threw me off. When u say abyss, are u refering to a deep, bottomless hole? or is it a deep well/lake?

I also liked the optimistic twist at the end. :] All in all, good job.

There is power in the pen.

Ri
Member
since 2008-02-01
Posts 67
Blackburn, England
2 posted 2009-01-08 04:18 AM


I'm referring to a lake
Thankyou for your input, and for your kind words

GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
3 posted 2009-03-20 09:06 AM


'Alone, I admire the solitary beauty'

This line says a lot for me.

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