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Passions in Poetry

What would you do? (R.I.P Taylor)

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Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


0 posted 01-04-2009 03:13 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

"This poem that I wrote was for a friend. Her best friend committed suicide today and I wrote this for her. Please don't pull it off cause it does have suicide in it. I'm writing as in a first person perspective of her best friend. Sabrina I hope doing okay. We're all here for ya. Or at least I am..

~*R.I.P Taylor*~


What would you do?


If somehow it was time.
For me to pack of my bags and go.
Would you be there to stop me
And tell me "no"?

If Heavens gate opened up for me
Because I thought my life had to end.
Would you mourn over me?
like you would do being a true friend.

My life wasn't right
And you knew that too.
But I couldn't see any light
So thought it had to end soon.

Today's a dark day in your life
I can see the tears swelling in your eyes.
I didn't mean to keep you out of the loop
I just didn't want to tell you any lies.

I didn't over-dose
A simple bullet would do.
But I didn't know how much it would kill you
Just like it did me too.

Heaven's gate opened up for me.
But I want you to know.
That I always did care for you.
But please Sabrina.. Just let me go..
© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


1 posted 01-04-2009 11:21 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

Aw this is really sweet and well written! My only suggestion would be more imagery\figurative language but as it is its really good so its hard to know what the right balance is. This is powerful!
Nice write!
Rhia
Abbeon
Member
since 11-30-2006
Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder


2 posted 01-05-2009 01:05 PM       View Profile for Abbeon   Email Abbeon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Abbeon

The thought off suicied is never so easy, people wont let you go. and your right, its hard to see any light. Well written. Im sorry for your lose, and as far as i know, as long as it doest premote killing your self as an answer you can mention suicide.

Words have power, Im going to unleash the power of my soul.

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


3 posted 01-05-2009 06:49 PM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

oh zach, i'm so sorry for all of you. this was wonderfully written, and every word is so true. i'm hoping and praying for you all and that it'll get better with time, please know that.
R.I.P indeed...

.:~]Julianna[~:.

waiting for you to notice me, touch me, hear me, love me...ask me for something other than gum.

GothicCherry
Member
since 09-16-2008
Posts 471
TN


4 posted 01-27-2009 10:10 PM       View Profile for GothicCherry   Email GothicCherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GothicCherry

Awwwh, this is so sad. I'll be praying for you and your friend...Sometimes life gets so dark that death seems brighter. I fear my friends see it that way many times a day and I hope they don't decide to end it the way yours did. I don't find it a stupid choice as many do, but it is quite an ignorant one in my personal opinion. Best of wishes Zach....-GC
 
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