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Teen Poetry #9
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Falling rain
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since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-01-02 04:11 PM



Twilight is dawning
Cold hanging on my breath
Smoke filling in the air
With the burning smell of death.

Loaded gun
Cold eyes with tears
A war is raging on
What more can we fear?

Bullets flying and cutting the air.
Blood is shed for the bigger man.
What is the reason?
What was the plan?

There's no sense to this.
Unreasonable and cruel
Accusations and hate
grows this fire as fuel.

Another solder fighting in this war.
Doesn't have much to say
Only a pawn in this game
Fighting to live another day.

Ash is falling from the sky
Hearing the innocent cries
Mind whipped clear of all fear
As another soul dies.  

I can't stop bleeding
From this battle wound
My time is running out
It'll all be over soon.  


  

© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2009-01-03 12:14 PM


I loved this especially the second to last stanza so emotional and such beautiful imagery. I really liked it- very well written. Good write
Rhia

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
2 posted 2009-01-04 04:17 PM


Love it!

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422
Canada
3 posted 2009-01-07 07:22 PM


this is one of your best, in my opinion. i loved it to every extent, lol. great imagry and flow with the words...library.

.:~]Julianna[~:.

waiting for you to notice me, touch me, hear me, love me...ask me for something other than gum.

GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
4 posted 2009-01-27 10:21 PM


Nice details!!! I'm not one for war poems, but this one highly intrigued me. Nice work...You're turning into one of my favorite poets.
Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
5 posted 2009-01-27 10:32 PM


hehehe. Awwww!!! I'm glad you like my work. Your work isn't too bad if I do say so myself. lol. Thanks for all the comments! xD

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

something meaningful
Junior Member
since 2009-07-17
Posts 12
Wisconsin, USA
6 posted 2009-07-17 08:38 PM


i love it! it brings the reality of war into perspective. its really well written and i dont think you could make it any better.
N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360
New Orleans
7 posted 2009-07-30 07:56 AM


It is well written, yet only one view of a landscape with endless windows.

I shall post another under a new topic.

Beautifully captured.


-LostPoet

UNTAMEDelegance
Member
since 2009-05-30
Posts 222
Oregon
8 posted 2009-08-02 02:05 AM


Thank you for writing this. It was really hard for me to read, because my brother heads of to Afghanistan soon, but it's really beautiful and the wording is... haunting, but amazing.
                           ~UNTAMEDelegance

Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
9 posted 2009-08-02 10:28 AM


Aww I'm really sorry. My poem here wasn't a happy one at that. So I bet it probably just builds up the worry for your brother. I have cousins in the war and I know how it feels.

I hope you find comfort and peace at mind. Best of wishes. And thanks for reading.

-Zach

nehematala
Member
since 2009-05-21
Posts 129

10 posted 2009-08-02 05:10 PM


Thanks for writing this it is hard to read but really good.

You are an amazing poet and are one of my favorites

The number one thing in acting is honesty: If you can fake that you've got it made.

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