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Dark Poetry #5
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Cole
| Dark Poetry #5 |
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Cole |
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voice2bheard Senior Member
since 2007-10-19
Posts 591New York |
Just so you know any of this of that you read, it wasn't easy for me to write at all To be brutally honest with everything I'm about to say, just hoping this won't be my biggest downfall Throughout my life I've had a lot of ups and downs just like anyone else Unfortunately I've had the pleasure of dealing with depression as well as a good majority of others With that comes a lot of keeping things to myself Not saying how I really feel, or whats going on in my head Some of the thoughts that cross my mind, I'm sure would scare you away, or make you want to leave I guess I'm taking a huge risk with this write, as I can feel it in my heart, that its very hard to breathe I keep to myself a lot, because I know what I can be like when things aren't good, I tend to shut people out This isn't written for me, but for you, so you can maybe understand what I'm about I agree I don't want to rush anything, but I just want to understand Why things literally are so different with you, as meeting you was never a part of my plan We were suppose to meet on a Saturday, but met on Sunday instead Will you still be here after all of this? Letting you inside my head? That Saturday I was terrified, I had just gone through something and had almost made things even worse Would it make sense to you if I told you, that the Sunday we had, may have never even dispersed? I almost never saw you, never even went out on that date I feel now that I would've regretted it, as possibly meeting you was my fate Within 24 hours you've done so much However will these words that I have to tell you even still be enough Some days are harder than others, some days aren't hard at all Ever since you've come into my life, I've made a change, and as you said it wasn't for the better, and you didn't like it at all I started to push you away, I started to pull back I know that's not how I want to be with you, and I'm so sorry that I have I want to be with you so much, I want to enjoy this life with you, as you've given my life another meaning For the first time in forever to have someone understand and listen, rather than all the screaming Everyday in my life since I was fourteen, I've always had these bad thoughts, uncontrollable it seems Who could think about death everyday, yet still be here continue to breathe Since you've come into my life, all those thoughts went away When I tell you that I'm scared of you, this is what I mean to say You make me happy just by being around me, that doesn't happen for me You make me want to be a better person, again that doesn't happen for me I want to open up to you, because of how you are There's things I've never told anyone, that I feel comfortable telling you Its just taking things one day at a time, that's what I want to do With whatever time I have left in my life I want it with you, because to me it just feels right You make me laugh and smile all the time No one's ever been able to do that to me before No, I do feel that I can never get enough of you, as I always seem to want more I felt myself shutting down, and shutting you out Guess I needed some time to figure this out I don't need time to know if I want to be with you or not As I told you from the beginning, you were my last chance, last hope, last shot In the world we live in now, things aren't like how they used to be Actually staying together, working things out Now to many people just give up and move on because its "hard" without a doubt I don't want us to be moving to fast All I want for just once in my life, is something that's truly going to last You've said that you didn't understand why it was hard for people to be with me Yet I'm sure you've been able to come up with some ideas of your own, the possibility to leave I know I can be difficult or a challenge at times, and not exactly what someone wants I'm just being me though, to be accepted for who I am, is that to much of a thought? I like you for you, and I'd like it to be the same for you with me However I'm not you, I can't tell you what to do, and I can't tell you how to be I can tell you that I am here, and I'm here for you, and in a way I always will be You're such an amazing person and so great to be around, that anyone would be crazy to leave One day with you, changed my life for the better As the day before I met you, it was almost my end forever I took one last chance, one last try, as hours in a car with you, kept me from saying goodbye To finally feel what its like to be with someone who cares As in the beginning this was something I never wanted to share with you, but I want you to be there I just want you to know what you've done for me You've given me so much in such a short amount of time, I know its hard to believe You want me to be honest, you want me to tell the truth My life has been better since the day I met you You've given me another reason to want to continue, not to give up This is where I ask you, if my words for you are enough? Opening up like this, to tell you something I've never told anyone before To the excitement, happiness, and discovering the word "more" I'm in no rush with any of this with you, just so were clear I just know that for the first time in forever, you're someone I don't want to lose, as its become one of my biggest fears I want to make things better, I want to make things right I want to feel safe in your arms again, every single night I want to hear your voice, I want to feel your touch Its just you, literally just you that I want so much We both wanted the same things, and I'm hoping that's still true As I just want to be able to share my life with someone, and I feel like that someone is you I want what you have, I just want it in my life Everything with you is just so natural, and just feels right I'm hoping you understand where I'm coming from, as you've done it before I just want to be with you, nothing less, nothing more Kate |
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