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Passions in Poetry

Happy Thoughts

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BangleBracelets
New Member
since 04-02-2014
Posts 3


0 posted 04-02-2014 09:42 PM       View Profile for BangleBracelets   Email BangleBracelets   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BangleBracelets


I think about it
Even when I'm doing well

And although I'm not doing now
Sometimes I wish I was

But there are so few secret places now
And everyone might see, worry, question

Judge

Just thought makes me uncomfortable
So I think of it more

The world rushing by out of control
And beautiful on the outside

With all that green, green grass
In everyone else's back yard

And I think how happy I'd be
Satisfied and beautiful on the outside

Like everyone else

Except I'm not
Beautiful or satisfied

I still think about it
Perhaps more often than I should

And with a strange sort of longing
That frightens me more than you know

It may not always be pretty
but it will be true

© Copyright 2014 BangleBracelets - All Rights Reserved
DaysofView
Junior Member
since 04-01-2014
Posts 27
Billy's Best Half


1 posted 04-03-2014 08:09 PM       View Profile for DaysofView   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DaysofView

Whenever someone uses the phrase "more than you know", it insults my interpretive intellect and my female intuitive powers. I'm quite defensive that way. Maybe you just don't want us to understand for reasons of your own. Not at all "Dark" either. Maybe you should have posted this in "Open Poetry". If this sounds harsh, it's not meant to be. Your signature will explain.
BangleBracelets
New Member
since 04-02-2014
Posts 3


2 posted 04-04-2014 06:40 AM       View Profile for BangleBracelets   Email BangleBracelets   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BangleBracelets

Well, your critique has certainly gotten my brain buzzing.  I can definitely appreciate that.  As to your first point about your intuitiveness being insulted, some things aren't sensed, felt, or known until after the fact.  And in respect to darkness, well I guess that's all in the reader's interpretation and the writer's state of mind during creation...
DaysofView
Junior Member
since 04-01-2014
Posts 27
Billy's Best Half


3 posted 04-23-2014 12:35 PM       View Profile for DaysofView   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DaysofView

Interpretation? It's about as dark as staring at the sun.

Is it a crime? No.

Does it fly in the face of forum guidelines? No.

Is it or anything about it stranger and more frightening than I'll ever know?

I'll tell you when I'm on my death bed.

Remember: My words may not be pretty, but they will be true.

It was just a thought which made them run. It was just an act that killed them.

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