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Dark Poetry #5
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Haf_Alive
Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56
High in the Sky

0 posted 2011-09-04 04:56 PM



blank, cold, far from jolly
dark, alone, melancholy

broken, battered, bruised and sore
i beg for mercy, then come back for more

HAF

© Copyright 2011 Luke S. Heath - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2011-09-04 05:16 PM


Very sad, very powerfully expressed.

Love and peace.
Margherita

Haf_Alive
Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56
High in the Sky
2 posted 2011-09-04 08:02 PM


thank you Margherita! i was going to make it a longer poem, but i couldn't think of anything else that would get the message across so i just left it at that.  i guess it works.  
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2011-09-04 11:01 PM


Sometimes the shorter poems are the most powerful poems.

Alison

ponderthepoetorrsx
Member
since 2011-06-25
Posts 284
U.S , Ca
4 posted 2011-09-04 11:10 PM


sometimes it is that which is short and to the point that pleases most of all
Haf_Alive
Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56
High in the Sky
5 posted 2011-09-04 11:29 PM


I'll keep that in mind, thanks guys!

HAF

LaGraceLa
Member
since 2011-01-30
Posts 243
Minnesota, USA
6 posted 2011-09-08 09:02 PM


Wow-
I am awestruck. Simply amazing, I can feel your words... and they cut.

rachel_anubis
Junior Member
since 2011-03-24
Posts 43

7 posted 2011-09-08 11:07 PM


Amazing that you captured such emotion and feeling in only four lines. Its amazing
ponderthepoetorrsx
Member
since 2011-06-25
Posts 284
U.S , Ca
8 posted 2011-09-11 08:27 PM


i do this all the time lol )= well i dont get bruised but you get the idea. great poem
maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
9 posted 2011-09-14 07:39 PM


love it i loved the rhythm
maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
10 posted 2011-09-20 10:10 PM


i loved the rhythm and also this rhythm inspired me to write a poem called betrayal thank you
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