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Dark Poetry #5
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untitled for now
| Dark Poetry #5 |
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untitled for now |
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maddorani Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423houston,tx |
i would like some feedback for this poem tooo! and thank you  My bloody tears are Trickling down my face My heart has become Frigid like ice and I’m just sitting here Alone and I see People pass by me Looking at me and Wondering Why am I alone? Why am I sitting on the streets? Why am I here in the first place? Why am I crying? The people that must Be wondering can Only see my crystal Tears and my warm heart But the people that Are like me only Can see my bloody Tears and My heart that has Become frigid like Ice even though they Don’t know me it’s nice To know that they can Feel my torment my Agony and my Oppression but that’s Still not enough What good would it do if they knew? What good would it do if they apprehend? Its just not the same My life has changed In a blink of an eye Who knew I would be alone? Who knew I would be here? Who knew I would be grieving over myself? I always looked forward to the future Now I can’t even look forward I can only look backwards With these bloody tears of mine And with this heart that has Become frigid like ice All I can do is wish for The sun to come down And never come up Because darkness Prevails in front of Me and inside me |
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| © Copyright 2011 madiha - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LaGraceLa Member
since 2011-01-30
Posts 243Minnesota, USA |
I have chills great job you are becoming much stronger. The only suggestion that I have for you now is to come up with your own titles. It can add a little extra meaning or insight to the poem if you put a title with it. It can show the reader something that would otherwise be invisible to them. |
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maddorani Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423houston,tx |
thank you hehe |
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Haf_Alive Member
since 2011-09-04
Posts 56High in the Sky |
that's quite the inward journey, and a very raw expression of it. very brave. thanks HAF |
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maddorani Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423houston,tx |
thank u |
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