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SunshineandraiN
New Member

since 2010-11-17

Posts 5

0 posted 2010-11-17 04:13 PM

Blood Under My Nails

On that fateful day
It can never be far enough away
I was carefree as can be
Until I went face first into a tree
There was blood everywhere
I was too numb to care
I tried to shake him awake
But I had to leave for my own sake
I had to get out
Or I would be dead without a doubt
Out the window I went
And to this day I do not repent
I left him there
It just isn’t fair
Blood dripped into my eye
As cars drove by
Walking on broken glass
I collapsed into the grass
Numb, pain, numb
A constant continuum
I lay in bed
With these images running through my head
They creep back to me at night
I can’t even fight
I run fingers over my scars
And even though it seems so far
I see it on my hand
It is my brand
To remind me that I have failed
To this day, there is still blood under my nails

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2010-11-17 08:50 PM

This is a very dramatic writing, fellow
Sunshine. It well depicts the reason for
your user name. You know the ups and downs
of life, and I look forward to more of your
poetry.

Please, check your email for a
Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

FloraScars
Junior Member

since 2010-11-08

Posts 33
VA, USA

2 posted 2010-12-08 01:15 PM

this poem is wow.
it shows the pain the person is forced to live with.
i felt the sadness in me as i read this poem.
very well done(:

pyre
Member

since 2008-05-16

Posts 136

3 posted 2010-12-08 02:40 PM

Nice... I was drawn by the title... Blood under anyone's nails just sounds extremely painful. And the poem was really down too.

On the critique side, as far as a rhyme goes they told me a poem doesn't necessarily have to have rhyme so it isn't mandatory to force it. Just 2 cents...

Does she pray, or am I prey?

LaGraceLa
Member

since 2011-01-30

Posts 243
Minnesota, USA

4 posted 2011-01-30 07:19 PM

This is disturbingly beautiful. It can be interpreted many different ways, and it describes the feelings for each situation perfectly. I really think this poem is amazing, fantastic job.

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