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Dark Poetry #5
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Swisha
Junior Member
since 2009-07-22
Posts 32


0 posted 2010-09-01 10:51 PM



I've seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine and I'll take the rain
I have ice in my veins and hate in my heart
I feel the truth has finally tore me apart
I search but never find, I hurt but never cry
But i'm cursed, so I work and forever try

The mirror shows too much fear in my own eyes
Who am I, can't see through my own lies
I try to deceive myself, but i'm all alone
I see a house full of friends, but no ones home
I'm looking for something to keep me believing
With my eyes wide open, i'm just not seeing

Anxiety and depression constantly beating me
I've lost all strength to fight, it's past scary
Like a ghost that you can't see, but surely feel
A chill up your spine, your courage it's come to steal
Ignorance is bliss and the happy are surely blind
With death and suffering where is the joy people find?

© Copyright 2010 Swisha - All Rights Reserved
Novus_Os
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 115
West Coast, USA
1 posted 2010-09-03 12:39 PM


WOW. Powerful, and deep. Very good.
I especially like the part about you talking about a ghost, sapping your courage.
Sometimes, we all have to dig deep.

Regards,

Novus_Os

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.

Weeping willow
Junior Member
since 2010-08-29
Posts 13
Mississippi
2 posted 2010-09-03 06:30 PM


That poem is filled with pain and I can feel it in every line,Good write


Swisha
Junior Member
since 2009-07-22
Posts 32

3 posted 2010-09-04 08:31 PM


Thank you both for the feedback! It was deep, and very hurt filled. This is something I do to release that kind of stress in my life.. It's nice to see some can understand/appreciate it! Thank you both
Shy-Girl1
New Member
since 2010-03-23
Posts 5
C.A.
4 posted 2010-09-20 11:17 PM


This I can relate to, deep and insightfull. Writing what you feel is the best way to release pressure and stress.
Pixie Wales
Junior Member
since 2010-07-29
Posts 21
UK
5 posted 2010-09-22 07:46 AM


Hi Swisha

I really like this - it gave me goosebumps (and for a change, the weather, here in Wales, has nothing to do with it!)  Very powerful stuff.

I particularly liked "you keep the sunshine and I'll take the rain" - I can relate to that.  Also relate to the line about a house full of friends but no one's at home.  

The world can be a lonely place, especially for those of us with a tendancy not to see it in black and white alone but with all the shades of grey in between, as so many of the people on this site seem to be.

Take care and I hope to "speak" to you again very soon,  Pixie

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
6 posted 2010-10-06 02:31 PM


the beginning has a few lines from a Lil' wayne song , but other than that the rest was good

There are places in the heart that do not yet exist; suffering has to enter in for them to come to be - LeonBloy

Swisha
Junior Member
since 2009-07-22
Posts 32

7 posted 2010-10-06 06:20 PM


That's awesome you recognize that! Love the lil wayne song, full of great lyrics. Sometimes I like to have a drink, listen to a song,use a verse based on that and go from there.
Thanks everyone for the feedback though! It's great to hear, hopefully i'll have something else to post soon. And looking forward to reading something from each of you.

FloraScars
Junior Member
since 2010-11-08
Posts 33
VA, USA
8 posted 2010-11-08 06:55 PM


this poem is absolutely amazing. it really touches me. very creative and expressive. straight from the soul.
bigthinker8
Junior Member
since 2010-11-22
Posts 19
Chicago Il
9 posted 2010-11-26 06:13 PM


Thank you for your poem, I think most of us can relate.
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