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Dark Poetry #5
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MorningStar
Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa

0 posted 2009-10-26 06:10 PM


The cut of a glance
the bite of a sharp word

It hurt me so
but I didn't cry
I wouldn't cry
I remained silent and resolved
A lesson learned

Only when assured that no one watched
I would hold my pain in my hands
and examine it closely


The chill of a turned shoulder
the ache of a disappointed disregard
the hollowing that follows

It hurt so
but I wouldn't cry
I remained unflinching and remote
A lesson learned well

Only when assured that I was indeed alone
would I open my wounds and trace their jagged lines


It hurt me so
Silent
Resolved
Remote
Unflinching
The results of a lesson learned well


Only once I was assured that you wouldn't hear, wouldn't see, wouln't know
I opened my heart to examine my pain and trace the lines of my wounds

But I didn't cry
Not because I wouldn't
No, not even because it didn't hurt

No
I didn't cry
because I was no longer able


My education complete

[This message has been edited by MorningStar (10-26-2009 10:06 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Aenea Saunders - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2009-10-26 06:57 PM


Aenea,

This is quite possibly one of the best "dark" poems I have ever read. I don't frequent the Dark Forum much, but have been introduced to it, needless of my time here, via complaints of going against the rules and guideslines. I'm honored to be one of the first to read you, and I welcome you not only to Passions, but applaud the way you highlighted a dark forum with such insight!

Please check your email for a Very Special Welcome!

Sunshine


MorningStar
Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa
2 posted 2009-10-26 07:44 PM


Thank you kindly!
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2009-10-27 01:25 AM


I agree with our Sunshine.  I became a Deputy Moderator of the Dark side because I so rarely read in here.  You made me want to read more - this is truly good writing.  I will be reading more of yours.

Alison

hunnie_girl
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since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2009-10-27 04:32 AM


WOW!
Krysti

Mr Naz
Junior Member
since 2009-10-22
Posts 29
London United Kingdom
5 posted 2009-10-27 04:59 AM


MorningStar- well done, I liked this very much and you have captured the feelings, the emotions, the sentiment so well, a good piece for the Dark Poetry section.

Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
6 posted 2009-10-27 09:07 AM


Wow! This is amazing. Defiantly going into my library. Keep writing!

-Zach

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2009-10-27 04:24 PM


Aenea,

Last evening at our local writing group, I mentioned your poem as one of the more exceptional pieces I have read regarding "dark poetry". Today I linked you to all of our members, several of whom are now associated with PiP.

I look forward to their thoughts on your remarkable piece.

Sunshine/Karilea

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2009-10-27 05:05 PM


Morning Star...Many important lessons come to us in life, some by way of joy, some by sorrow.  To understand the lesson is the important part and not to avoid its impact because of fear.  Wisdom grows in your words of poetry.  Welcome to Pip.
MorningStar
Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa
9 posted 2009-10-27 06:18 PM


Karilea, thank you for the support!  

You know there is special kind of freedom and release in finally saying what you really feel - and then having someone else understand you.  So,thank you all for listening.

If I don't say it...who will?

Masked Intruder
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Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
10 posted 2009-10-29 12:02 PM


Welcome!  It's definitely tough to trump the praise our Sunshine has shown your way; though, I admit, it would be much harder to disagree with her.

"Lessons" shows great structure and tone, speaking from the soul.  Well done!

-*-*-

Divide me again.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
11 posted 2009-10-31 08:38 PM


Only when assured that I was indeed alone
would I open my wounds and trace their jagged lines

Love It! Welcome to PiP

There are places in the heart that do not yet exist; suffering has to enter in for them to come to be - LeonBloy

shalisadefa
Member
since 2009-08-13
Posts 114

12 posted 2009-11-16 03:08 PM


disturbingly good,

a very harsh lesson learned.

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