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Dark Poetry #5
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prize
Member
since 2008-11-21
Posts 116


0 posted 2009-05-15 06:25 PM



Venom flows inside her veins—
rushing speeds increase the pain.
A simple cure does not exist
to exorcise its turns and twists—

beyond the faults she cannot see—
poisoned with sludge—eternally…
life choices made run deep within—
she's committed one too many sins.

Time slothful as her blackened blood—
untreated—congeals like crusty mud.
Add guilt and shame, threads turn to lead—
petrified in a flat-line, her frail body
dead.


To explain - I had some intense feelings about my little sister's death yesterday (the anniversary is near) and wrote this poem.She was just a teenager when she took her life. ~P

© Copyright 2009 prize - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2009-05-15 07:53 PM


I tend to write cathartics, so I just wanted to pop in, and touch the screen.

I'm very sorry for your loss.


fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

2 posted 2009-05-25 11:24 PM


Glad you had the courage to put it all into words.  You might want to consider toning down the rhyme scheme a little.  Intense feelings can sometimes best be expressed without structure...

Still, good poem.

Life's short.  Think hard!
Me!

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