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Dark Poetry #5
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How can a relationship be based on Betrayal?
| Dark Poetry #5 |
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How can a relationship be based on Betrayal? |
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Ethernaut Junior Member
since 2009-04-07
Posts 31NT, Australia |
******* This is quite a long poem. Yet it flowed out of me, such that there was little I had to do to edit it. It won't be giving anything away to say that the son is me. But I couldn't write it in first person. You'll understand why. ******* “Her” You have kids. Do you love them? Do you care for their feelings? Sure, they’re adults now. Why does that matter? They’re your kids. You love her. She loves you. Does she care about your kids? That matters. Doesn’t it? You’re the best thing that’s happened to her. So what? Is she the best thing that has happened to you? Do you know? She has cancer? Oh. But she’s probably going to live a long time? Ah. You’re using the cancer as an excuse. Don’t! Do you love her? Or do you just feel a thrill when you’re with her. Physically, mentally. You feel young again? You get that rush, the one you used to get when you had a partner in your parents bed. Only this time, it’s the bed you share with your wife Doesn’t this seem wrong to you? Does the past thirty years account for nothing? Sure, you weren’t married. Why does that matter? Don’t you like your family? Did you like them at any point? Should you have left long ago? What? Your childhood was different? No arguments? Or did you just not see them? Companionship. Arguments. Compromise. Differences. Each is part of any relationship. Why should love make a difference? You have no answer. You don’t have a reason? Surely you can say something? Surely you can show something? You think it helps? You hide your emotion. Those you have left behind feel pain? What more can you cause, if you show you care? Do you care? You leave your family to mourn. Do you feel anything? Do you feel guilty? Do you have regrets? Do you want forgiveness? Your kids want the chance to forgive you. Your wife has forgiven you? Don’t look to them? Only you can forgive yourself. Go ahead. Have this fling. Spend the rest of your life with her. You have betrayed those who thought you loved them. She will wonder. When. She will be betrayed. Your kids can see. You do feel pain. What kind of person is “she” to hurt you in this way? Sure, you’re good for her. Is she good for you? Your kids think you’ve changed. You used to care about them. Your son remembers when he used to hear about his sister on the phone. Not about “her”. You barely spend any time with your family. You’re away all the time. Do you love them? It came as a shock to your kids. She wanted to tell. Good for her. You kept it hidden. For their sake. Rubbish. It hurts more that you hid it. You didn’t hide it for their sake. You couldn’t face it. You betrayed yourself. You keep going on about the differences between your parents and your life. Do you think your parents would approve? Are you so deluded? Wife You told your wife. Before you told your kids. She forgave you. Can you not see the value in that? Is that not worth all the love in the world. Since you told your wife. You have talked. You have sorted the differences. People keep telling her that you’re the perfect couple. You are closer to her than you ever have been. You don’t love her? Yet, you want to remain friends? You ask about her? Your voice changes when you talk about her. You don’t love her? Hogwash You love her. So what if it doesn’t give you a rush. You’re no longer young. Deal with it. You have broken her heart. But she forgives you. She loves you. She will always love you. She wants you back. She wants to do something to repair your relationship. Why don’t you? If you leave. Don’t come back, When your fling collapses. When you’re love dies. When “she” dies. When you find yourself alone in a broken life. When no-one trusts you. Because you betrayed your wife. Betrayed your kids Betrayed the values of your parents. Betrayed yourself. Kids When you told your kids. You blamed yourself. But you didn’t tell them the full story. You didn’t tell the truth. Nor did you say you love them. Do you love them? Do you care? You hid yourself away from them. They wouldn’t let you. You told them of your love for “her”. Why should they care? All they can see is the pain you have caused their mother. They see you. Sitting there. British stiff upper lip. No hurt showing. Don’t you see? You cause them pain. They can forgive you for your affair. But you lied. Use cancer as an excuse. You care about their mother. You’re leaving. Why should they forgive you? Your son won’t hate you. Your daughter might. You broke her mother’s heart. Could you live? Once your daughter’s heart lies shattered. Does you “paramour” care”? Son Your son said to tell him anything. You didn’t. You didn’t tell him that you betrayed his mother while she was away. When she was caring for him. In her own bed, no less. Why? Don’t you have any pride? But he won’t hate you. He loves you. He will always love you. But can he forgive you? Do you care whether he forgives you? It was a shock to your son. But he isn’t totally surprised. Your son sees more than you could ever fathom. Ever put into words. You haven’t been happy since you started to get bald. Noticed grey hair. Shaved off your beard. He hoped you would grow out of it. You didn’t. But you never talked about your feelings. So neither did he. Yet he understands. Can you cope with his understanding? Do you wish you could understand him? Does it even occur to you to try? He said he wouldn’t judge. But his control of judgment has gone out the window. You told him to look after his mother. As if you care. Did you even think of what this would do to him? He’s depressed. He’s thought of killing himself. No longer. His concerns about himself are gone. Vanished. His only concern is that his mother doesn’t. You gave him a purpose. But why this way? He came home to heal. To a home he thought would always be there. He wanted to deal with his depression. With your help. With his mothers help. To stand on his own two feet. Repair his imagination. Know his own value. To want to get better. Now he has to. Not for his own sake. Not for your sake. But so his mother will survive. So his sister won’t suffer alone. He won’t kill himself now. Are you happy? Now he collapses in the hall. Weeping. Unable to get his breath. He wants the Daddy he once had. To hold him. Yet still he understands. The attraction. Need. Rush. Desire. All but one thing. It keeps him awake. Totally beyond his comprehension. He tried to explain it. But he couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. Didn’t have the words Him a walking thesaurus. The words don’t exist. There is only a question. No answer. “How can you base a relationship on betrayal?” Can you answer this? Does “she” have an answer? If you decide to truly leave. Your son won’t hate you. Instead. He will pity you. You will find this worse to bear than his hate. Not a threat. A Promise. It is your decision. Do what you will. Don’t hide it. Don’t fear it. Whatever you do. Live it. Don’t regret it ----------- I don’t have an answer to your actions. But I love you. Come back to us. Please. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Jeremy Garnett - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Def-init Member
since 2008-12-03
Posts 186Toronto, Canada |
This was an interesting piece. It came off more as conversation then a poem. Although the images were pretty vivid, it seemed to go on forever, like googling the word "google"... IMHO It seemed you could have condensed this a bit. Nonetheless it was an interesting read. -Def- - If I cant bend Heaven, I shall move Hell - |
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rad802 Member
since 2008-04-19
Posts 279KY U.S.A. |
I like this. Good work. Please visit my wifes forum. It would mean a lot to her. Thanks http://bride.hyperboards.com/index.php Rick Delmonico |
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Mechanic_Chic New Member
since 2009-04-09
Posts 1Palmdale, CA |
I really enjoyed this poem. I've been reading through several of yours. However, I must agree with the previous comment that it was rather long. In fact, perhaps if you condensed it slightly, it would be easier to follow. I loved the conversational verses though. Very unique. ~Mechanic_Chic~ |
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Ethernaut Junior Member
since 2009-04-07
Posts 31NT, Australia |
thanks for the comments Reading it once more, with perhaps a bit less passion, it does seem more of a conversation piece. Mind you, some of my favourite poetry of ages gone, have similar tone and length. At some point I am going to fine tune it, ie. thesaurus, white out and scissors. Beauty can be found in all places, even within the darkness of the soul. |
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SlowlyFallAway Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279North Carolina |
I loved it. Very different and powerful, but definetley my favorite on this site so far. Wow. That was amazing. |
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Ethernaut Junior Member
since 2009-04-07
Posts 31NT, Australia |
Thank you Emily. I've read a few of yours and I'm really impressed Perhaps less of a fine tune than I thought Beauty can be found in all places, even within the darkness of the soul. |
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