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Open Poetry #43
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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2008-12-20 09:20 AM


I bought the concentrated
liquid courage
to rip off my shirt.

to dance in public a place
where there's no music
(with an imaginary you.)

to ask you why
you aren't opening
the gloss of your perfect eyes
every morning
near my mediocre green.

___________________________________________
The Sadie Series.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

© Copyright 2008 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-12-20 11:37 AM


Yo Paul,

This is a cute poem, I like it okay.

Bobby

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
2 posted 2008-12-20 01:51 PM


I can't seem to come up with anything awe-inducing lately.

It's starting to bother me.

But I guess that's how it goes.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2008-12-20 09:41 PM


I don't know, but

"to ask you why
you aren't opening
the gloss of your perfect eyes
every morning
near my mediocre green"

reads mighty awe-inspiring to me

p.s. let me know where you get the "concentrated liquid courage"...I can't find it anywhere lately

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
4 posted 2008-12-20 11:20 PM


It comes in plastic bottles for seven dollars at your local liquor store.

=]

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
5 posted 2008-12-22 01:47 AM


Great poem...enjoyed!
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2008-12-22 11:13 AM


"to dance in public a place
where there's no music
(with an imaginary you.)"

public or private...it hurts the same.

Enjoyed.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
7 posted 2008-12-22 10:42 PM


Aw thanks folks. I'm still trying to come up with something wonderful, we shall see what the holiday season sparks anew.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

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