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Open Poetry #43
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2008-12-11 07:15 PM


.


A beautiful woman
Passes by—

Wrong hair
Wrong eyes


.

© Copyright 2008 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2008-12-11 07:25 PM


Needs a consultant...lol!
Thought provoking!

Eric

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
2 posted 2008-12-11 07:37 PM


I wonder if her hair and eyes are her own.  Who knows any more?
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
3 posted 2008-12-11 07:45 PM


Yo John,

Picky, picky, picky.

Bobby

Vestibular Bard
Member
since 2008-12-11
Posts 284
New York
4 posted 2008-12-11 07:47 PM


I hate it when that happens...
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

5 posted 2008-12-11 09:05 PM


how can it be so wrong when it seems so right...nice...
amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
6 posted 2008-12-12 12:20 PM


Hey...if you don't look you'll never find what you're lookin' for!!  
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
7 posted 2008-12-12 09:04 AM


Nothing wrong with your hair that I can see.  Maybe you can fix your eyes?

I really like the succint way you wrote this poem.  Nicely done!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2008-12-18 04:36 PM


When the heart has eyes for only one, everyone else is wrong... Enjoyed!
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2008-12-18 05:01 PM


Huan Yi - just think when the one with the right hair, and right eyes pass by...

BC

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
10 posted 2008-12-18 05:35 PM


.


Thank you all,

yet
suthern
is the one
that got it right . . .

Thanks again


John

.

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