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Open Poetry #43
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Demons Within Me.
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Demons Within Me. |
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xTr3m3sT Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415 |
Surround by blood, inferno starts to engulf my skin in the gulf of sin, burning my skin till it's paper thin hallucinating, brain's wired with the stench of death floating without strings, lighting flares every time I take a breath controlled by evil demons, followed by feeble heathens beating the sense out of innocent men until they nose is bleedin' I hear the spirits chant my name in deadly unison as they begin a ceremony, hand me a knife, and say ''time for you to sin'' blacking out, I search for a suitable civilian to kill skin complexion turns pale, darkened eyes survey their will slashing the skeleton, cannibalizing the flesh capitalizing on the virgin because their blood is just fresh as the blood drips from the lips to the fingertips torturing my own body with heavy chains and whips I black out, the rooms spinning, I'm getting nauseous the painful screams shatters windows and the human conscious awakened in a dark room, the whispers elevate to screams I'm holding my head in agony hoping that it's just a dream I see a man, he knocks me on the floor, and gashes my skull hacks and slashes my body with a hatchet that's completely dull he takes a knife, slices my skin, begins to peel it I scream and cry with bloodstained tears in my eyes, yet he doesn't feel it he's chopping my body into pieces from my arms to my feet this man has no conscious, his demeanor colder then sleet I look him into his eyes and that's when I realized I'm being eaten alive by the very man I idealized I'm being eaten by my own demons....I'm being eaten alive by me..... |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
I have to admit I had a bit of trouble reading your poem because of the length of the lines and the amount of emotion contained in them, but it is a fabulous poem and we all have our own inner demons to face. I would suggest breaking your poem down just a bit though like: Surround by blood, inferno starts to engulf my skin in the gulf of sin, burning my skin till it's paper thin hallucinating, brain's wired with the stench of death floating without strings, lighting flares every time I take a breath keep in mind that this is just a suggestion, but when I did this rather than focusing on the lines as you have them written it was much easier for me to understand and read Shan |
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