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Open Poetry #43
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2008-11-01 12:10 PM


.


This
Is a story
Not often told

There is
By a town
Not far from here
A cross on a hill

On the ground
There are no
Bloodied garments
Cast aside

Only the head
Of a hammer
And three rusting nails

There was
At least one man
Who did not come
To Jerusalem
To suffer
For the sins
Of the world

You ask me intrigued
How I know these things

And I smile


.


© Copyright 2008 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-11-01 03:49 PM


Yo John,

You are absolutely right, and some do it more than once.

Bobby

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
2 posted 2008-11-02 11:13 AM


Enjoyed the Write!


ARCTIC WIND

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
3 posted 2008-11-02 04:46 PM


.


Thank you both

Didn't expect it
to be popular . . .

Thanks again


John

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2008-11-02 08:59 PM


very cleverly devised--it appears to be simple but not through my eyes.

*smiles*

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
5 posted 2008-11-02 09:04 PM


One died
so i
could live

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

6 posted 2008-11-02 09:29 PM


If I could only commented on the works I fully understood, this is one I could never comment on.  I have read it over and over and studied its nuances, but if I were to say that I fully understood this one, I would be lying...but, the structure of this write is amazing...it speaks in ways that complicate it more and more with each reading.  It is amazing.
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
7 posted 2008-11-03 11:10 AM


There was
At least one man
Who did not come
To Jerusalem
To suffer
For the sins
Of the world
this is mysterious to me...Is it a condemnation ?

yann

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
8 posted 2008-11-03 01:39 PM


.


Yann


No
Just different choices


John

.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
9 posted 2008-11-19 11:35 PM


And I ask, intrigued, how you so consistently come up with such gloriously arresting poetry. Wow's overused, but wow anyway!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
10 posted 2008-11-20 08:32 PM


.


Thanks Ed,


Sometimes
especially in hard times
they're given to me . . .

Thanks again

John

PS

You just confirmed for me
this one as my choice to submit
to the Illinois State Poetry site
for their December listing.

.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
11 posted 2008-11-21 12:12 PM


Fascinating.  I particularly enjoyed the symbolism of the single hammerhead and the three rusty nails - and the multiple possibilities and probabilities of who the man could be.

- Owl

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
12 posted 2008-11-23 10:37 AM


Facinating, Takes my thoughts in many directions.

                                Ida

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