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Open Poetry #43
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amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray

0 posted 2008-10-31 04:29 PM


Walk with me a moment
Through the channels of the past
See the lies and misconceptions
That seem to always last

The story was a prism
Explanations not revealed
Blame is unimportant
For that time is truly sealed

Beneath the surface frosting
Housed illness and naive
The need for self autonomy
Fight for distance and for need

Inside my mind remains
The haunt of self reprisal
For being what I seemed then
Behaviors often primal

Perhaps my faulty judgement
I say, oh yes, and no
It takes the two to tango
My part I only know

What really is important
That someone wins the day
Or that memories existed
Some of pain and some of play

You may wish it different
It was so short a time
Let me keep my sad beginning
Relax, it's only rhyme

© Copyright 2008 kat fer - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-10-31 05:13 PM


Yo Amusemi,

This poem has good rhythm, and cadence.

Bobby

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2008-10-31 05:51 PM


easy read with a great ending...enjoyed
Freely_expressing
Member
since 2008-10-16
Posts 69
NSW, Australia
3 posted 2008-10-31 11:19 PM


Hey I really liked the rhythm in your poem, i find some poems can be a bit disjointed. But that flowed so welll and had some really neat concepts! thanx for the read
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2008-11-01 01:05 PM


Enjoyed the Read!


ARCTIC WIND

Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
5 posted 2008-11-02 11:23 AM


"The story was a prism
Explanations not revealed"


Enjoyed the stroll through the past.

Janette

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

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