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Open Poetry #43
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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2008-10-14 10:28 AM



Hi Guys,
So i don't post in here much and i'm thinking i need to start since next year i won' be a teen and all. I've posted lots of stuff in teen and i'm pretty well known there however venturing into open is scary to say the least. I'm thinking this maybe too dark for in here but if it is the lovely mod's can delete it for me. Anyhow enough's enough. This is about my dad.. we don't have a great relationship as u can probably tell. All feedback is welcome.!

_______________________________________

Silent Teardrops On Fractured Ground


Silent teardrops fall today
I’m so tired of falling apart
It hurts too much to breathe
I wish you warned me from the start

I scream but nobody hears me
I bleed but there’s no scar
I’d die but you’d never notice
I’d fall but it’s too far

Look at me I’m broken
What happened to your love?
I’m bleeding and I’m tired
Oh god I’ve had enough!

Silent teardrops fall today
I’m so tired of falling apart
You knew I couldn’t live without you
Hell I told you from the start

Still you left me stranded
Alone with this knife
I’d cut the scars a little deeper
But who would save my life?

Oh god I hate you dad
But I guess you’ve finally won
For all the hell you put me through
That’s it dad, we’re done!

© Copyright 2008 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved
WTBAKELAR
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089
Utah, USA
1 posted 2008-10-14 12:31 PM


R.I.M.  This is a very telling poem of the pain a child goes through when parents separate.  Sometimes it is very hard for a child to see the parents (fathers) side or to know the whole story of why the parents split.  Coming from a father that had to leave his childrens mother, I can tell you that it hurts more than a child could understand. Olny getting to see them on every other weekend creates a separation bertween the heart.  It becomes easier for a father to create some distance to ease the pain of loosing his children.  
Let me ask you to please give your father some time and understanding and when you leave the cover of your mothers wing, you will be able to reinstate the bonds between you and your father. You may learn things you never knew about him.  Give him a chance.
Take care.  
Hope they don't cut your poem because of the 5th stanza.  

The answer is always NO, Until the question is asked.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2008-10-16 07:23 PM


your title drew me in, then your explanation, then lines like this:
"Silent teardrops fall today
I’m so tired of falling apart"...lots of pain...forgive me if I see it from a Dad's view...I have great relationships with both my daughters (long distance on both) so I can only hope you might someday have a scintilla of what I enjoy...when I feel like your described, it is my daughters who come to my rescue.   think I understood parts of your write...my heart goes out to you...but your pain has resulted in some very poignant writing...completely absorbed by it

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