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LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

0 posted 2008-09-26 06:42 PM

“Lost”
Lost in a sea of endless dreams
Shattered and broken
I fall to my knees

Lost in a storm of endless hurt
Tattered and torn asunder
I fall to my knees

Lost in an inferno of endless despair
Crushed and cracked
I fall to my knees

When all hope is gone I look up
And I fall to my knees
Lost in your eyes

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-09-26 08:19 PM

Yo LoneWolf,

This is well done. It's the only unpunctuated, and unmetered poem I've ever liked.

Bobby

FNG
Member

since 2006-02-07

Posts 477

2 posted 2008-09-27 01:32 AM

" I look into your eyes"....
Just wondering, whose eyes? God's ...enlighten me...

FNG

graeshine2006
Member

since 2008-06-03

Posts 368
The Prairie Lands, USA

3 posted 2008-09-27 02:05 AM

Wow - I liked this a lot. Very nice.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2008-09-27 09:02 AM

Nice job...

I think the eyes are that of the person spoken of throughout the poem...

That's how I want to see it anyway.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

5 posted 2008-09-28 01:33 PM

Thanks everyone for the comments. Susan you are right, it is about a person. But FNG I see how it can be seen in that light, I didn't even realize it till you said something. Thanks.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

turbulent_melody
Junior Member

since 2008-10-01

Posts 22
Australia

6 posted 2008-10-02 03:40 AM

I enjoyed this as well, minimalist and moving.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2008-10-02 03:47 AM

"Lost" is very powerfully expressed here.

Love,
Margherita

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

8 posted 2008-10-02 06:10 AM

I also see it the way Susan did. Nicely done.

M

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

9 posted 2008-10-02 01:34 PM

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