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SkaaDee
Member

since 2008-04-07

Posts 116
Canada

0 posted 2008-09-08 10:01 PM

fall fell upon us, overnight
in silence, in one booming
crush. now we are memories,
nothing but red and brown
beneath trees.

we imagined no end to a prairie road
but then came the snow.

if you're still there
think of me when you hold
that summer we stole
but we should have known
long before the pain
when snow was still rain.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

1 posted 2008-09-09 01:08 AM

I am sorry for your pain if this is based on your life.

This is probably the most beautiful and the most unique poem of lost love I have ever read.  No clichés, no clichéd images, no saccharine, but plenty of effective images and understatement - if I was still an English teacher and ran extra-mural poetry workshops, I would have asked you if I could use this to illustrate what excellent poetry is, and to inspire and to guide.

My favourite part is the whole poem, but my favourite favourite images are, and in this order:

now we are memories,
nothing but red and brown
beneath trees

and

but we should have known
long before the pain
when snow was still rain

and

think of me when you hold
that summer we stole

and

if you're still there

and

overnight
in silence, in one booming
crush

and

we imagined no end to a prairie road
but then came the snow

Oops!  That is the whole poem!  Oh, well!  That's what happens when excellence is achieved!

- Owl

SkaaDee
Member

since 2008-04-07

Posts 116
Canada

2 posted 2008-09-09 07:59 AM

Owl

Your enjoyment of this poem brought a rush of happiness to me.
thanks.
this is very much based on a certain period of my life but this is how we grow, I suppose.
It was triggered by the familiar scent of autumn in the air and the sight of leaves on the ground.

thank you for sharing in your response.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2008-09-10 12:18 PM

quote:
fall fell upon us, overnight
in silence, in one booming
crush.

This is such a powerful beginning, that after reading it I held my breath.

Excellent indeed!

Love,
Margherita

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

4 posted 2008-09-10 12:47 PM

I can sense the pain, strength, nostalgia and wisdom in your response. It seems that you make sure that you grow from sad experiences. I am glad of that. Wishing for lasting, deep happiness for you now and in the future.

- Owl

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

5 posted 2008-09-10 03:16 PM

This is a unique poem of lost love that I can actually enjoy. I don't care much for the sappy stuff but this is different. It is well written as well as from the heart.
Ida

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