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Open Poetry #43

Love, Torture

Bloodlust
New Member

since 2008-09-05

Posts 4

0 posted 2008-09-05 04:45 PM

Dear Love,

Still in a fresh bud,
Searching for the sun to bloom its sweet fragrance.
The rosy soft petals begin to lose its color
As the sun begins to fade in the distant horizon.
When darkness consumes everything the rose gave,
The dark clouds start to release its tragic teardrops.
Each drop weighs
On the petals with no regrets nor remorse.
When the sun appears on the eastern horizon,
It hides within the clouds on broad daylight.
One by one the petals being to wilt into its next phase:
Tragedy.
Winds whisper, "Was it worth the pain,
With no one to blame?"
Its whisper grew louder, "There are things that will never be."
The sun reappears once again, as the raindrops begin to shrink
they enchant in harmony, "He was the one you wanted,
You gave what you gave,
But you're not sorry that you met him nor that it's over.
Most of all,
You weren't sorry that there was nothing to save."
As the petals fall to the ground,
another bud begins to repeat the cycle in havoc.
Love,
Torture.

allmo
New Member

since 2008-09-06

Posts 6
California, USA

1 posted 2008-09-06 06:43 AM

very nice

allmo

TheAnonDavid
Member

since 2008-08-28

Posts 237
UK

2 posted 2008-09-06 07:54 AM

This is an interesting first post.
The pity is that you have opted for no critique as you have a few errors and ambiguities that need attention.
There are some lovely images and I like the ironic ending;
"Love,
Torture"

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas

[This message has been edited by TheAnonDavid (09-07-2008 07:34 AM).]

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