My River of destiny! (Semi-Finished!)

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Open Poetry #43

My River of destiny! (Semi-Finished!)

Newpoet
Member

since 2008-05-16

Posts 72

0 posted 2008-08-30 04:12 PM

I saw an imposing river,
Far and wide.

Men and Women followed,
Who lived and died.

A flowing river takes me where I want to be.
It connects my life to the bottomless sea.

Is there another option for me?
A river or lake or ocean,
In which I can not see?

I discovered a brand new stream,
It consists of an unknown theme.

For where it leads me:
I will not return.
Will I be grateful or will I scorn?

This chaotic stream clashes with my destiny.
It could be the worst for me!

I could drown upon each hopeful path.
The afterlife might greet me through its wrath.

I’m undecided.
I can’t afford to lose.
Life rushes by, while I almost choose.

Gumpy
Member

since 2007-11-06

Posts 143
Canada

1 posted 2008-08-30 04:16 PM

interesting read. I liked it very much.
Gets ya thinking.

Gumpy

How is it that after your heart is ripped out, you feel so much?

TheAnonDavid
Member

since 2008-08-28

Posts 237
UK

2 posted 2008-08-30 04:16 PM

It is very difficult to give a definitive comment on a half finished work. I would rather wait a while longer and read the finished piece

Newpoet
Member

since 2008-05-16

Posts 72

3 posted 2008-08-30 04:31 PM

Thanks for the replies!

It is basically done, but I still feel that there are some holes that I need to fill.

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