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Open Poetry #43
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Newpoet
Member
since 2008-05-16
Posts 72


0 posted 2008-08-30 04:12 PM


I saw an imposing river,
Far and wide.

Men and Women followed,
Who lived and died.

A flowing river takes me where I want to be.
It connects my life to the bottomless sea.

Is there another option for me?
A river or lake or ocean,
In which I can not see?

I discovered a brand new stream,
It consists of an unknown theme.

For where it leads me:
I will not return.
Will I be grateful or will I scorn?

This chaotic stream clashes with my destiny.
It could be the worst for me!

I could drown upon each hopeful path.
The afterlife might greet me through its wrath.

I’m undecided.
I can’t afford to lose.
Life rushes by, while I almost choose.



© Copyright 2008 Newpoet - All Rights Reserved
Gumpy
Member
since 2007-11-06
Posts 143
Canada
1 posted 2008-08-30 04:16 PM


interesting read.  I liked it very much.
Gets ya thinking.

Gumpy

How is it that after your heart is ripped out, you feel so much?

TheAnonDavid
Member
since 2008-08-28
Posts 237
UK
2 posted 2008-08-30 04:16 PM


It is very difficult to give a definitive comment on a half finished work. I would rather wait a while longer and read the finished piece
Newpoet
Member
since 2008-05-16
Posts 72

3 posted 2008-08-30 04:31 PM


Thanks for the replies!

It is basically done, but I still feel that there are some holes that I need to fill.

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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #43 » My River of destiny! (Semi-Finished!)

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