»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #43
»
Autumn is a Gypsy
| Open Poetry #43 |
|
Autumn is a Gypsy |
|
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
|
Autumn is a Gypsy Fingers of waning sunbeams between tree branches, quiet September evening shines beautiful light. Unencumbered leaves flit on the backs of downdrafts; gaily, flutter to nest on cranberry jewels bright. Gypsy Autumn scribbles graffiti with bold strokes. Intricate patterns etched on canvases of ice. Summer fades, forgotten, as clashing colors reign, orange, red and yellow offer green as sacrifice. Sandhill Cranes dance on flat fields that offer respite They deign to mingle in the midst of ducks and geese Morning mist mutes their early song of departure; they are an oxymoron of chaos and peace. Cranes, calling in flight, are oddly mesmerizing Geese, harmonize in low notes, with synchronized song Their music weaves with fall colors, bold and daring; every note echoes long after the birds have gone. September is a gypsy dancer, wild and free. Unfettered by the decorum of June and May, unconcerned by August’s plaintive cries to remain; September’s ego teases with flirtatious play. Harmony is born from confusing disorder. Behind shadows of sunlight between trees branching, where quiet evening shines a beautiful light, frost and color paint clashing pictures entrancing. --- Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (08-20-2008 02:49 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2008 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
just beautiful alison, you are a gifted poetess, I loved this one, Autumn is my favorite time of year and I love how you describe it! |
||
|
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Alison, This nature poem uses has some good end rhymes. I would strive for a little more simplicity. Bobby |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, ARh. I love her too. Hugs, A ---------------- Yep, Bobby. I think she is gonna get scaled down. Thank you. A |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
One of the best nature writes I've ever read at Pips, and one of your finest, filled with incredibly colorful imagery and auditory delights. You are a masterful artist, Ali. |
||
|
Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Lovely write, Alison! "Harmony is born from confusing disorder" - how true that is! Helen |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wonderfully crafted poem, dear Alison! Colorful in its harmonious flow. Love, Margherita  |
||
|
Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I love this poem just the way it is, Alison. I can't think of a thing I would take out. You have painted such a bold and beautiful picture of fall that it becomes almost visible to the readers eye. Ida |
||
|
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I am not a traveller BUT this poem made me want to slam my laptop shut without taking the time to turn it off properly and hotfoot myself off to Alaska before I miss a single leaf fall! I didn't see it before you edited it, and I am sure that Ida was right and that it was perfect before you "scaled it down". Without having known what it was like before, I must tell you that it is just stunnnnnnnnnnningly perfect, just as it is. - Owl |
||
|
LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Harmony is born from confusing disorder. Behind shadows of sunlight between trees branching, where quiet evening shines a beautiful light, frost and color paint clashing pictures entrancing. You have painted a beautiful word picture dear Alison that was delight to read. A big hug my friend. Lindsay |
||
|
Gaelynsgirl Member
since 2008-07-18
Posts 175Ont. Canada |
I was not looking forward to winter til I read your poem and was reminded of the beauty that is to precede it. Thank you for helping me to keep things in perspective. Some lovely lovely imagery here. Lynda |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Bobby, my friend, When I first read your response this morning, I tended to agree with you. But, as I drove to work I thought about what I wanted to convey with this poem. I wanted wild and chaotic. I don't want to pare down something that lives on its own. That's how I see this poem. It is something that spills from inside. It's about the beauty of fall that clashes and is overblown at times. It is .. just what it is. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I do so appreciate you. Love, Alison - Kacy, Thank you. You see what I write of -- you have lived it and heard it and smelled it. Alison - Thank you, Helen, xoxoxo Alison - Margherita, Thank you for being so positive always. You are a delight in my life. oxxoxxoxo Alison - Ida, Thank you. Honestly? I couldn't pare it down. It's what it is. Love, Alison - -Owl, You are so special. I left it alone. The edit message was from last night. I tried to put a picture in, and decided that I didn't want a picture. I want you all to see it in your heads -- my fall through your eyes. Thank you, Alison - Lindsay, Thank you, my friend. Alison - Lynda, I truly love fall. Enjoy its beauty and worry about winter later. That's my motto anyway. Thank you for reading and taking the time to reply. Alison - Hey -Owl, You get extra hugs and kisses just cause you are our only "Owl". xoxoox |
||
|
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Alison~ I've peeked in on this beauty several times, drawn by the cadence of the title~ I've played in your Autumn word-leaves silently, but now want you to know just how much I enjoy this piece~ You tucked me in your pocket for a look at the beauty of your leaves-in-fall~ How lovely is this - 'September is a gypsy dancer, wild and free. Unfettered by the decorum of June and May, unconcerned by August’s plaintive cries to remain; September’s ego teases with flirtatious play.' -oh, so VERY~ Such a lovely word flow~ You are quite the poetess my dear young lady~  *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"September is a gypsy dancer, wild and free. Unfettered by the decorum of June and May, unconcerned by August’s plaintive cries to remain; September’s ego teases with flirtatious play." I LOVE this!!  you rock Alison |
||
|
poddarku Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589india |
it is full of a feeling that numb one with the senses prevailing. wonderful |
||
|
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Popped in for a moment to read your response to mine (thank you so much for those wonderful words!), and I stole moments from what I am supposed to be doing at home (as laid down in the rule book by me) just to read your poem once more - and then once more! For the record, I decided that my favourite part was the 1st stanza and the 2nd and the 3rd and the 4th and the 5th and the 6th! I adore the explosion of passion and the blanket of peace. This is a masterpiece par excellence! And thank you so VERY much for not changing it. I REALLY WISH I was still teaching English. I would have asked you if I could have exposed my pupils to the glory of this poem - I know you would have said, yes. I have a passionate desire to read this poem to a class and elicit responses from my pupils and to hear them discuss it word by word, image by image, concept by concept and as a whole and every possible way. It is amazing how excited and sensitively intuitive the most cynical teenagers can get when presented with excellence like this. - Owl |
||
|
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
'cept for a snowy nightowl we know of! Thanks so much for the extra hugs and kisses and for fixing your format so that it all shows via the Print button. It worked! Huggles and kissles back - Owl |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Stand up and take a bow, Ms A!!! A dynamic, imagery-rich fall delight ~ and a  !!!Alison, virtually every line is an autumnal jewel of delight! I LOVED it, dear poetess and friend!  ~ "Gypsy Autumn scribbles graffiti with bold strokes" ~ Gosh, yer good!!! Love Linda P.S. I await the fall with eager anticipation ~ and your poem just added to it! |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
very nice  |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A joy to read...James |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: I won't go so far as to say that we write alike; we don't. But...  We think alike!This is gorgeous! Would you care to duet sometime? Sunshine |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Lovely Marge, I have a feeling that we both share a deep love of nature and the beauty within it. It kind of strums inside, doesn't it? Thank you for letting me know how this touched you. Hugs, Alison - SEA, The feeling is mutual. I think you are pretty rockin' too. Thank you, sweetie. xoxoxo Alison - poddar, Thank you for reading and feeling the intensity of the season. Alison - -Owl, Your responses to my poetry are absolutely wonderful! You share the parts of you that make you so special to me. Thank you for the gift that you share. Plus, you make me smile with your joy of poetry and because of your genorosity in expressing that joy. You are a very special person to me here. Love, Alison - And backatcha with more hugs!  snowy_nightowl - Linda, I have grown as a writer because I am here among so many of you with such deep talent. I learn from you and I share in the beauty of your hearts. Love, Alison - vandana, Thank you. xoxoxo Alison - James, It is always a pleasure to see that you have read one of my poems. You make me smile. Alison - Sunshine, What a lovely thing to say. You have a beautiful heart and share it in your poetry. I love looking through your words. And, you blew me away. I'd love to but I have never danced with another poet before. You might have to be patient. Love, Alison |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
