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Open Poetry #43
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ain't no hollaback
| Open Poetry #43 |
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ain't no hollaback |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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He is driving me insane. But actually, he's not. He doesn't like to drive - a fact-- proved to be a problem that I guess he got from me?  I dunno. I'm wincing here. But I suppose if we were weird booked for Dr. Phil and lunch, and on the road to Montel stuff, and Oprah's people talked to mine-- and Kathy Griffin would decline a photo opportunity unless he'd hold the letter "D" and say mean things about Celine Dion, and all the drugs I'm on... An "Intervention" episode-- I'd do it--but it all gets old-- and I hear that Taxicab Confessions are the latest fad -- but only in New York, I'm told. (At least that's what I heard.  )I think of the psychology. I weigh the fruit. I measure me. Just how far will tumble you? (I wince--he'd hate that-- "Whut"? The truth?) He'd grunt and scratch himself: "Forsoot!" As if he thought he'd take me down by Jerry Springer's fluffer clowns I ain't no hollaback girl he prances, and he does that twirl that makes me wish that he were gay... Those ain't my hips. And those lips ain't the mout I kist my muddah wit-- I ain't no hollaback-girl, I ain't no hollaback...erg...  "Son" I asked him, "Are you gay?" He wagged his tongue and then he said, "I'll be yo hollaback girl," battin' lashes as he twirled jumpin' just like Stephanie but wit no ass (he just like me) he ain't no hollaback girl... he got no ass (he just like me) and little ittie bittie bees stung him on his chest (like me) and he's got dem two left feet-- au natural, genetically... He'd be a very pretty girl, if he'd unleash that wad of curls--- wadded up in Asian knots like Steve Seagal, but he forgot to let his hair hang out...unfurled? As if he were some...mumbleword. He can kick like Billy Jack, (but that is gay) and that ain't that: whatchyou think is that a-way... (Although he won't protest the fact.) He thinks that it's some kind of fad like firebrands on Firebirds and playing Lynyrd Skynyrd---"word". as well as words that rhyme with 'rap'. He just won't hollaback, girl. He's just won't holler back. Don't even call his axe an "axe"-- "Jackson," he says, "Simple facts-- Fenders are too simplified, they space their frets an nth too wide to be called quality," he snobs, maneuvering the bridge and saw 'grinnin' at me all bad ass. He ain't no hollaback girl... He ain't no hollaback. * * *  I pray he doesn't find this verse-- and yes, Lawd knows I've written worse, but he's more dignified than me, He's into jazz improv, sushi, Asian twins, and magazines featuring sleek dutch designs all black and tan sleek furniture-- and yep--  Lawd knows it could be worse. He could be wearing long side-burns burping beer and "Freebird" verse and hollaback dem words dat hurt-- "Yo" and stuff that's so perverse, I just cain't hollaback--no. We ain't no hollabacks. *grin* |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
LMAO. Your son,scratch that, your family sounds...quite lovely. You had me cracking up with your Gwen Stefani lyrics and pop culture references. Very much enjoyed. Is this the son that graduated last June by chance? He seems like quite the character.  Your Humble servant, Jill |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
grin... That's m'boy! He'll be starting at UNO soon. The other nut staring into the camera is his girlfriend, Angela, a lovely little brilliant much like you. She's attending Loyola here in New Orleans as well. (And he is quite funny when he's not being, um, right. All the time.  And she really does soften his rougher edges. When she's not hog-tied.  Thanks lovie. He'd be hollering at me if he knew this was here. *laughing* |
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