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Open Poetry #43
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Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2008-07-31 12:58 PM


The Flower of immortality


Deep within the Jungle
Lived men who envied gods
They Pound their chests with fists
And clawed grandfather tress
Till there fingers were raw

Jealousy burns inside
And soon the jungle fell
Ash left a thick, dark coat
The land naked and tame

The men were still mortal
Their lungs ached from the soot
Starved they cornered a fox

The fox was desperate

“They say there are flowers
Which continually bloom
The warm sun caresses
Displays of warm colors”

“If you eat of it you’ll too”

-The men knew the legends-
They took the foxes path

The men reached the meadow
Which one was the flower…
The men ate all of them
And became very sick

The fox relied on nature
That greed and jealousy
Could destroy even men



-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

© Copyright 2008 Juju - All Rights Reserved
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
1 posted 2008-07-31 03:37 PM


Juju!

I like this write a lot. I read it two times to try and find a message in your poem.
I like the ending of your as well~

ARCTIC WIND

Veni Mortem
Junior Member
since 2008-07-31
Posts 43

2 posted 2008-07-31 09:01 PM


I like it. ^^ I like the ending, too, it's very true.
Humans are funny, lol. ^_^

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2008-08-03 05:47 PM


I am really intrigued by this...I only wish it were a little more detailed.

(It would make a great series)

It's been too long since I've read you lovie.

I loved the feel of this--it seemed like a translation of some traditional tribal song of cautionary tale.

Nicely done!

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
4 posted 2008-08-03 06:10 PM


.


Good Juju
But things are'nt as simple
as that . . .

John


Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
5 posted 2008-08-03 10:12 PM


True sometimes it is hard to see what we loose.

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2008-08-04 07:03 PM


Enjoyed...James
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