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Open Poetry #43
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Please tell me what you think
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Please tell me what you think |
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apes531 Junior Member
since 2008-07-23
Posts 35 |
You wanna know the real reason why.. Why I went through with it I must confess You might call me stupid, but I did for him I couldn’t mess his life up, I only want the best All this pain im feeling is making me insane, whats next in my life.. Only god knows This is a secret ill take to my grave, my true feelings I will never be able to show Im afraid ill be judged, and its different when your in the situation I never thought id make that choice, and im dealing with this left over frustration. Do I have regret.. Of course, do I wish I could take it back, you know I would without a doubt Its to late for all that now, I gotta move forward and learn to live through this falling out These past days I havent slept much, every time I close my eyes I get a flashback My heart will always have this scar, and my mind will always be under attack I could’ve prevented all this, I never should’ve laid down All that’s left for me to do is cry, as I sit here and wear this frown. [This message has been edited by apes531 (07-27-2008 07:36 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 apes531 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is a well constructed poem. Don't be afraid of being judged, it's the favorite game of many people, but we should not allow them to exercise a negative influence on us. Be yourself and speak out. Love, Margherita |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
The aftermath of which I spoke in a previous post of yours... regret, sleeplessness, pain. Post abortion trauma is so real as to be unreal. Maybe this series of poems you've done needs to go around a bit in the schools. Maybe that's an awesome idea. Maybe I'll be writing you shortly here today... ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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gdcod2player Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117 |
Excellent you seem to write what i feel =) i dont do a good job writing what i feel or about anything heck have you ever heard music from Bruce Springsteen? |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Now I understand more of your poetry. The things that we already know, sometimes need to be fed back when we cannot grasp them in our time of need. We cannot ever take back yesterday. There is no judgement, there were reasons then...all we knew. Going forward, its all we know now. Writing is a positive medicine. Let the pain out, and the emptiness will fill with healing.  Welcome to Passions! |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Welcome to PiP. This is an interesting poem. I have read it a few times now. When I first came to PiP a poet, Poet to the Cars (I always got a smile from that name) recommended that I use spell-check prior to posting. Much to my horror, I spell checked many of the poems that I had posted - and many had at least one misspelled word. With that in mind, I am going to give you two pieces of advice. First, be consistant in using capitalization. If you are going to cap "I" then cap "i'm". See what I mean? Second, abbreviating words in a title of a poem is a sure-fire way of keeping me away. Abbreviations do not belong in poetry unless they are part of the poem itself. Poetry is about feeling and abiance. Abbreviations are for text messaging and instant messaging. Finally, pay attention to contractions. quote: should be written as I'm afraid I'll be judged and it's different I look forward to reading more of your poetry. I hope that my thoughts help you. Alison  |
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ramisf Member
since 2007-05-17
Posts 93 |
fear has no place in our life. we should do whatever we want caring less about judgements. we are human and we always encounter dissonance feelings. live your life day by day. have a great life |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
I truly feel for you my friend, always remember things are never as bad as they seem. Always look forward, never look back for the sun will shine again tomorrow and if your attitude is right you can overcome all the hills along the way. Good luck. Lindsay |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
I agree with Lindsay, looking back at things we did only hurts more, stay positive and look forward and things will surely turn around for the best. Nice write. Prasad "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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