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Open Poetry #43
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Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

0 posted 2008-07-21 09:56 PM



    

The Sun Fairy

At break of day, the golden sun rises,
above the vast valleys of fuchsia red.
Butterflies flitter as little birds twitter,
around the Sun Fairy’s bed.

She lights up the sky, in an endless glow,
across plains of our mother earth.
Trees soak in the light, that shines so bright,
--The warmth ensures nature’s rebirth.

When Moon Fairy awakes ~ Sun Fairy will sleep,
--Until the next breaking of dawn.

ARCTIC WIND



[This message has been edited by Artic Wind (07-22-2008 12:12 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 Arctic Wind - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-07-21 10:02 PM


Yo Artic Wind,

This is pretty good.

I'd get rid of the "do", and put a period after "rebirth".

bobby

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
2 posted 2008-07-21 11:17 PM


When Moon Fairy awakes ~ Sun Fairy will sleep,
--Until the next breaking of dawn.

oh Michael, this is just beautiful!! Fairies are such a wondrous gifting to us!  love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
3 posted 2008-07-22 01:19 AM



Great poem Michael, great rhyming

And seeing as Bobby said to get rid of the do, I would suggest the following line.

Butterflys flitter as little birds twitter
It keeps the meter right.

I hope you are not offended by my comments as I learned long ago not to change other poets poems, so please forgive me.

Lindsay

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2008-07-22 03:01 AM


How sweet and enchanting, dear Michael!

A keeper, so that I can read it to my grandsons when they will understand English.

"... and little birds twitter" ... yes I agree with these kind suggestions.

Oh, and I love the picture too!

Love and joy!
Margherita  

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
5 posted 2008-07-22 12:13 PM


Bobby-

Why thank you for the suggestion on the "do"
Part

And thank you for reading!



ARCTIC WIND

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
6 posted 2008-07-22 12:14 PM


RDB-

Thanks!--

I am soooooo glad that you liked this poem I wrote...



ARCTIC WIND

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
7 posted 2008-07-22 12:14 PM


Lindsay!

Thank you for the suggestion as well!..

All is switched and ready to be read



ARCTIC WIND

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
8 posted 2008-07-22 12:15 PM


Margherita!

Thanks for the help!

and thanks for reading



ARCTIC WIND

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

9 posted 2008-07-22 03:27 PM


Wonderful write!

Eric

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2008-07-22 08:12 PM


Eric-

Thank you!



ARCTIC WIND

amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
11 posted 2008-07-22 10:29 PM


A wonderfully celestial depiction... enjoyed!
Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
12 posted 2008-07-23 03:02 AM


Hi Artic Wind, excellent painting with words, I can see the fairy right in front of me. Prasad
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
13 posted 2008-07-23 10:41 PM


Lovely - sometimes I prefer to read without the graphic as I see your poetry in my mind.  Very nice one.

A

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
14 posted 2008-07-24 02:41 PM


Amuse!

Thank you so much!



ARCTIC WIND

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
15 posted 2008-07-24 02:42 PM


Prasad!

WOW! thanks



ARCTIC WIND

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
16 posted 2008-07-24 02:43 PM


Alison!

REALLY LOL thanks!

I am glad you like to picture what it's like!



ARCTIC WIND

XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435
Antarctica
17 posted 2008-07-25 09:50 PM


Missed this one in my absence. This blew across like an arctic wind

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
18 posted 2008-07-26 12:02 PM


Garapen-

Thank you so much!



ARCTIC WIND

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
19 posted 2008-07-26 02:04 PM


Our world would not be as near as bright if we were not to have our Sun and Moon Fairies.

Enchanting!

Love & Fairy Magic,
EA



Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
20 posted 2008-07-26 02:07 PM


EA-

Thank you for the Enchanting Reply! LOL



ARCTIC WIND

Gaelynsgirl
Member
since 2008-07-18
Posts 175
Ont. Canada
21 posted 2008-07-26 02:35 PM


Imagine the poets-to-be that you are inspiring. I was raised on Robert Louis Stevenson and this put me in mind of my childhood and the land of counterpane!


'I do believe in fairies!!! I do, I do!' from 'Peter Pan'  

You make me believe...

Lynda

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
22 posted 2008-07-26 04:11 PM


Gaelyn!

Why thank you!
I love the story "Peter Pan" as well...



ARCTIC WIND

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
23 posted 2008-07-27 01:59 AM


Very pretty, Artic Wind.
                    Ida

ramisf
Member
since 2007-05-17
Posts 93

24 posted 2008-07-27 01:24 PM


What you wrote is great. keep it up
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
25 posted 2008-07-28 06:56 PM


Marchmadness-

Thank you so much!



ARCTIC WIND

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
26 posted 2008-07-28 06:56 PM


ramsif-

Thanks



ARCTIC WIND

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