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Open Poetry #43
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After the Last Break-In to My Bedroom - Part 1
| Open Poetry #43 |
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After the Last Break-In to My Bedroom - Part 1 |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa 
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The last break-in to my bedroom was on 5 July 2007. The one before that was on 29 March 2007. There are 3 poems in this series. THE FEAR OF NOT FEARING 16 September 2007 Once I walked my midnight forest wrapped in awe of delicious solitude and ghostly fever trees amongst dark shapes outlining moonlit patches and breathed the honeyed scent of yellow puff-balls or milk-white, miniature propeller flowers, and once inside, I would read my favourite poetry or work in silent ecstasy into the entrails of the night surrounded by my four-legged children while my now-grown two-legged ones breathed peacefully through their childhood dreams, but now I barricade myself and my cat and dog in my bedroom after dark and put on the burglar alarm and the most I can do is watch television (sometimes with the sound on) and start at every misinterpreted sound of the thud or metallic ring of fence-jumpers or cracking branches or breaking glass or the screeching alarm and stare into the blackened night in ramrod terror through my now-imprisoned forest, for men carrying packets in the dark or shiny dark cars that creep unlit and stealthily through the sleeping streets until, against my will, I lapse into unconsciousness from sheer exhaustion (with one finger on my panic button round my neck, however). At the lightening of the Heavens I thank my God for saving us all another night. Sometimes I am not so afraid and sometimes not at all, but most of all, I am afraid of not being afraid as they burst into my bedroom (twice) when I wasn’t afraid at all. I wish I knew the minds of (general and specific) burglars for then I could relax until the next predictable attack. I would rather be afraid than have reason to be afraid, but where will it end? Being a self-confessed workaholic, I need to work at night but I can’t risk losing another laptop, camera, or cell phone or any windows so tonight will find me losing another night’s work and on guard again. - Owl |
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| © Copyright 2008 Diana van den Berg - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Diana, you accelerated my heartbeat with this one, as I felt your fear and worry so strongly, due to your masterful tale. I understand that it is very difficult to be totally free of fear under such circumstances. As you know I have gone through this too. I remember those times when we felt totally relaxed and secure even with open doors and windows, now we always pay attention to all the actions that need to be done in order to prevent further thievery. My husband's ritual question every night is "did you put on the alarm?". Even though there is nothing of importance to steal now (I hope they know!!), there is still the fear of drug addicts who are all but gentleman burglars! I feel with you. I justify theft when it is for hunger and in the world there is far too much of that and we should really find solutions to eliminate poverty, but most of the thieves are simply greedy of other people's things or addicted, as I said, which is the worst kind. May you trust again and be serene. Love and hugs. Margherita  |
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Gaelynsgirl Member
since 2008-07-18
Posts 175Ont. Canada |
What fright this stirs in my breast - I know this fear and you make it very real. Be wise... be careful.. kin |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
OhMy~ This frightens me for you, my dear lady~ I found myself holding my breath through the read~ Be safe hon~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo OwlSA, Well, we all have our little crosses to bear. Look on the bright side, and be thankful you have something worth swiping. Love Bobby |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
No one should have to live with that kind of fear, Diana. I suppose you have reasons for staying there and I can only pray for your safety. Ida |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thank you, Margherita. I have more or less got over it as you will see from the subsequent poems in the series – even more than is obvious from the last of the series, but still come inside my gate with a warden from the security company who takes me to my door if I come home after dark – well, most times. However, I need to leave for work before it is completely light too – but because Winter’s end is coming, it will be lighter longer. I, too, have nothing left to steal (I have often wanted to put up a notice outside to say so!), except my laptop and camera – which are the current rage with burglars. Yes, those who are under the influence of drugs are the scariest as they don’t listen to reason or politeness and are totally unpredictable. So far, I have been lucky not to have had any of those (as far as I know) and politeness has saved me most times they have got to me. At the stage I wrote this poem, I felt safer being afraid. After the two burglaries mentioned before this poem, there was an attempted burglary in October – they broke the big picture window in my lounge, but it was shatterproof glass and they struggled to break it and it woke me up and the burglar alarm and my screams frightened them off. Thank you, kin, I am sad that you know this fear. I am extremely careful, but that doesn’t always help. However, I now have very strong burglar guards on most of my windows, so it is a little safer. Thanks, Marge, for your kind concern. Thanks, Bobby, but I actually haven’t had anything worth stealing for my last goodness knows how many burglaries, but unfortunately it was obviously new intruders each time, except, I think for the last 3 times (when there was my laptop and my camera). Thank you, Ida, for understanding that I have my reasons for staying here. Not many people do understand. Those are that I am very rooted to my home; also my children grew up here (more important because my daughter doesn’t say more than a few words to me in emails from Australia, and that under duress and in reply to mine, but not nearly all of mine); my indigenous forest garden is populated with many trees that my children gave to me for birthday and Christmas presents and most of the original ones were planted by my son as a very young boy; my cat has known no other home and he is 13; although my dog who is also 13 has only been mine for the last 4 years, she is blind and knows the house and back garden very well; and I don’t want to live anywhere else. There probably are other reasons too, that don’t spring to mind right now, but I think that is a good number! Thank you for your prayers for my safety. - Owl |
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