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Open Poetry #42
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What you love about you
| Open Poetry #42 |
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What you love about you |
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KeyLimeSorbet Member
since 2008-03-05
Posts 74Colorado |
Your gift to me: Nearly a year of silence Mine in return to you: Domination without violence. As a starving puppy returns to where it is fed, So I returned to where I once was dead. No longer do I wait for you, but instead have the courage to stand up to you. No longer do I fall to my knees for your love, now I am the one who can rise above. I used to see someone who loved me, even though you never did. Now I wished to see someone who changed for the better, but I realized you will never come close. For your love of yourself is greater than any love I ever had for you. You are your own weakness, therefore now the tables have turned. I showed you what in the past year I have learned. I did not give rejection, Merely conversation without interest. Then you beg to know why, if you were to say goodbye, I would no longer cry. Yes, you are beautiful, but I will no longer remind you. This year you made it easy to walk away and keep my growing love for another. Cause by the bottom of the last glass, you showed me how weak you always were. {You will} Love Always, {But it wont be} me |
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| © Copyright 2008 Rachelle Sparks - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbal892 Member
since 2007-11-25
Posts 58 |
Amazing! I really enjoyed the structure you used, how every 2 lines we're mirrors of each other in their meaning. It's a great read as well! |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I aways enjoy this kind of attitude so much more than whining. Tell it like it is, Key. Ida |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This was an interesting take on a difficult relationship. I think when we are weak it is lack of love for ourselves, because when we love ourselves the way we are we grow strong. We are all on our own path of evolution, neither silence nor conversations without interest or domination help us ahead, but forgiveness, compassion and unconditional love. Then we can move on and spread wings in lightness, each in a new direction. Thank you for your thought provoking poem. Love, Margherita |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
I like your pip name!  ARCTIC WIND LOL |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading this...James |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow kid, this is great has such impact...very well done.  |
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KeyLimeSorbet Member
since 2008-03-05
Posts 74Colorado |
Jbal892- thank you, i usually very self concious about the structures of my poems cause i often dont spend a lot of time reading back over them :-p Ida- i have my fair share of whining haha, in fact this is the first poem about a certain person that ISNT me whining! but trust me there will be no more like the ones i used to write (at least for a while) Margherita- it was a difficult relationship, on-going too! The best thing i learned was that once i was able to grow confidence in myself, i no longer was attracted to the same kind of men, the old ones werent good enough hahaha! Artic Wind- i have a weakness for ice cream :-) James- thank you Sea- i dont know what i'm going to write about anymore. This one was like the last chapter to a long sequel. I think ill write about rain... |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I enjoyed your sad humour poem with you emerging victorious. Well done for the poem and the attitude. Keep it up! Yes, rain is a wonderful thing to write about. - Owl |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
it's good that it's the end of that chapter, you will have a lot of poetry about all things in your life...speaking of...where are your love poems?? I would think you would have a few of those, no?  |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
Not at all intending to be base or crass, but you should have kicked him in the groin and wrote about that, too. ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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KeyLimeSorbet Member
since 2008-03-05
Posts 74Colorado |
Sea- hahaha, love poems… well first I need to be in love! I’ve never been IN love, I’ve only loved a person who didn’t love me back, which sparked some great poetry! but now I can write about beauty instead of despair! It’ll take me a while to open myself for love J XgarapanX- that would’ve been a great ending too! Hehehe I’m trying to work on my low impulse control, I had to be mind over matter that night!! |
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graeshine2006 Member
since 2008-06-03
Posts 368The Prairie Lands, USA |
Jeesh KEY - we need to talk. Sounds like we've gone through some of the same things. I loved this poem and your confidenc in it. You go girl! |
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