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Open Poetry #42
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2008-06-12 03:25 PM


Again, I smile to myself
While reading poetry aloud.
The world is beautiful - it swells
With every single spoken sound.

The cotton-candy clouds melt
And let the sun shine through.
This all began the day I fell -
Headfirst - in love with you.

The cardinal won’t end his song
Until the moon emerges
And every birch’s unique among
A dozen other birches.

The sunset sky is tangerine
With just a dash of cherry.
Let’s ride our bikes to Dairy Queen
Across the cemetery.




http://home.comcast.net/~kneller/aboutme.html

[This message has been edited by Master (06-12-2008 05:18 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
K-K
Member
since 2008-03-13
Posts 153
Indiana
1 posted 2008-06-12 03:37 PM


This is very good. I love the sunset you picture!!
You should post more often

[This message has been edited by K-K (06-12-2008 04:15 PM).]

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2008-06-12 06:17 PM


quote:
The cardinal won’t end his song
Until the moon emerges
And every birch’s unique among
A dozen other birches.



How absolutely beautiful!

And on a day like that even the cemetery has less shadows ...

Love,
Margherita

graeshine2006
Member
since 2008-06-03
Posts 368
The Prairie Lands, USA
3 posted 2008-06-14 11:20 PM


I really enjoyed this... truly.  I'm from a small town and riding across the cemetery to the DQ made perfect sense to me!  Also, the sunset was beautiful. And I love reading poetry aloud.  It has so much appeal to it.  Very nice.  Hope that special someone appreciates it! Deb
Brian James
Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147
Winnipeg
4 posted 2008-06-15 03:02 AM


It gets harder and harder to write to your own standard, the better you get, doesn't it?  

It's good to know you're still writing poetry, old friend.  Rhyming "birches" with "emerges" is clever but I think it would have been better if you did it the other way around, because "emerges" is a stronger word to end a stanza than "birches."  

Just my humble opinion on your less-than-humble art form.  Toodles!

"To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form."
~Robert Frost

FNG
Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477

5 posted 2008-06-15 03:05 AM


SO cheery!

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