navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » home (age)
Open Poetry #42
Post A Reply Post New Topic home (age) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
poddarku
Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589
india

0 posted 2008-06-10 10:56 AM



Home
========
“Boys. Oh, boys.” She tells.
The bouts of cough in between.
The few of her pictures
Resting on the table with
A short leg. Sepia.
A cup of tea long past its
Prime time, now just stale
Lies there in its lonely cup.
The windows of the home
Produce an afternoon, dull.
Aunt doesn’t try to
Conceal her chuckle over
Memories of springs.
Touches that should have happen
And touches that have.
Her rolls of stories unveil.
Bored, I beg pardon
For a world less humorous
Than those sepia
Stories, waits outside this home.
Bidding farewell
I turned to look at the old age home…
An evening like a ripe melon is engulfing it…
--

clever talks delay friendship!

© Copyright 2008 poddar kushal - All Rights Reserved
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
1 posted 2008-06-10 01:05 PM


.


This is very good

John


.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
2 posted 2008-06-10 01:06 PM


There's a saddness here but the poem "tells it like it is." Well done.
                                   Ida

Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

3 posted 2008-06-11 01:40 AM


Dear Poddarku,

          You've been working hard, I can see.  This one is very spare and very clear and you have a right to be very happy with it.  Thanks for letting us see it.  Your hard work is paying off.  Sincerely, BobK.

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
4 posted 2008-06-12 05:21 AM


Ku... I do so enjoy your beautiful gifts of poetry    love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2008-06-12 08:30 AM


quote:
Aunt doesn’t try to
Conceal her chuckle over
Memories of springs.
Touches that should have happened
And touches that have.


This is so intense that it brought along deep melancholy, dear Ku! It means you succeeded in inserting a lot of emotion into your poem.

Yes, indeed, very very good!

Love,
Margherita

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2008-06-12 11:17 AM


"An evening like a ripe melon is engulfing it…"

Excellent imagery here, one can smell/taste/see 'aging/ripeness' vividly. Take a bow, poet!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » home (age)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary