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Open Poetry #42
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Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422
Canada

0 posted 2008-06-02 06:20 PM


Earth’s Mysteries

A cold fall winds’
Hand sneaks up
The back of my
Shirt, making me shiver
With unending coldness.
A scratchy winter trees’
Branch grazes my
Forearm, leaving a
Slightly open scratch.
A melting icicle drops
From above, only to
Land on the thigh of
My now bruised and
Swollen led.

When will all the
Torture of earth
Come to an end?
Will it slowly kill
Me for revenge?
Only time will tell
What earth has in store
For me.

~*Julianna*~

Six Semper Tyrannas - Thus always to tyrants...

© Copyright 2008 Julianna - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2008-06-02 10:01 PM


Each season brings new adventures as well as trials. Welcome to the blue zone.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 posted 2008-06-02 10:47 PM


"Swollen led."

Perhaps you mean "leg".

This would be more coherent if you didn't start each line with a cap.

Bobby

Bobby

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422
Canada
3 posted 2008-06-03 06:10 PM


Thanks for that grammar check, my computer always uppercases the first letter of each line and its hard to fix, thanks for pointing it out!

~*Julianna*~

Six Semper Tyrannas - Thus always to tyrants...

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