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Trauma
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Trauma |
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Yoinn Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649Michigan 
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Trauma I know very little. I “feel” way too much. I stand up everyday, it’s all I know how to do. I smile when people speak, but I don’t hear. I agree to things, It’s easier. I blink my eyes, but nothing ever changes. I will put one foot in front of the other until I fall. It’s all I know how to do |
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| © Copyright 2008 Tim W. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Nicely done, but really too pessimistic. Anyway, if you think you will fall, also think that there will be a loving hand helping you up again. Love, Margherita  |
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Yoinn Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649Michigan |
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my poem Margherita, but really way to Optimistic. To imply my poem is too pessimistic shows to me a very narrow perspective on reality. A homeless man living under a overpass in Chicago who lost his family in a auto accident or a young man back from Iraq missing both arms and severe mental problems from what he did and saw during his fighting. has a much different level of pessimism than a than a women living in a 200 thosand dollar house who's worst problem is when she drops her salad on the floor. The poem is titled " Trauma" and trauma creates pessimism. The amount is directly related to the severity of that trauma. My poem trys to represent the more severe trauma...not the salad bowl. Actually there is alot of optimism in this poem the subject clearly states that despite all his troubles he will continue to move forward until he dies, never quiting. Again thank you for your reply Margherita I always enjoy critiques of my work. I took what you said, and evaluated it, and finally couldn't agree. Please read my reply in the same manner and maybe we both will grow. Think outside your box Yoin |
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