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Open Poetry #42
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xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415


0 posted 2008-05-20 04:14 PM


Blood rains above my head
and falls to the floor
dissolves into the air
and I breathe it in.

The blood is red
with poisen in it.

I run away
trying to escape
dodging the raindrops like
an extreme game of dodgeball.

The blood surrounds my body
and drips down my skin.

I slip and fall to the floor
as the blood rushes into my mouth
and I begin to choke
on the blood of innocent beings.

© Copyright 2008 xTr3m3sT - All Rights Reserved
shyvl
Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531
texas, usa
1 posted 2008-05-20 06:12 PM


Your poetry is alway dark, passionate and extremely introspective.  I could feel your anguish.  A couple of things- I think poison is misspelled(see even I can't spell it) and I would enjoy seeing you branch out your imagery.  I understand you write from where you're at--but blood has been a focal point of many of your pieces--I would enjoy learning more about the way you experience life.
sharyn

"God made you as you are
in order to use you
as He planned"  J.C. Macauley

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
2 posted 2008-05-20 08:55 PM


Very Interesting Write!



ARCTIC WIND

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