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Open Poetry #42
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steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058


0 posted 2008-05-13 08:00 PM


unforgiven, the soul seems to cry
separating itself from the heart
blameworthy of resolution
dry as desert sands on a summer day

wistful melancholy fills the hourglass
of life’s hope, swiftly satisfying
the bare glass of time’s empty case
slowly draining itself of being

as meaning escapes its nature
and forgiveness eludes its essence
forging the shallowness that comes
with the loss of humanity

and times goes on as it always has
gaining, losing, becoming, enduring


© Copyright 2008 Steaven R Snow - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2008-05-14 07:19 AM


We cannot change what was...but the quality of the moments spent, do not lose their worth in the exchange.

Nicely done

shyvl
Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531
texas, usa
2 posted 2008-05-14 08:55 AM


I was well pressed to pick a favorite set of lines since each was so well penned and there was such eloquence in choice of wording.
i loved this image--
"wistful melancholy fills the hourglass
of life’s hope, swiftly satisfying
the bare glass of time’s empty case"
thanks for sharing
sharyn

'

"God made you as you are
in order to use you
as He planned"  J.C. Macauley

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
3 posted 2008-05-14 02:14 PM


Yes, I think you tell it as it is but certainly most eloguently.  Enjoyed!

Helen

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
4 posted 2008-05-14 02:24 PM


Love the idea of the hourglass as it relates to life and our brief time on earth.
Your profound words are lovely and this is a KEEPER.
                               Ida

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
5 posted 2008-05-14 03:30 PM


The melancholy of the existential reality of impermanence is so deeply felt in this one. It is strange how we lament our fragile being, but somehow triumph in the endurance of suffering---the unforgiving nature of life. We are time bound by our existence, but we are also time binding by the faculty of will, that is, according to the great Martin Buber. I am really into this one, as it invokes so many emotions as I read and study it. Great writing!

Art

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
6 posted 2008-05-15 08:08 AM


Steaven

This is really beautiful.  I'll be back to read it again, but wanted you to know now -- that you grabbed me with this poem

Alison

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2008-05-15 11:41 AM


..."forgiveness eludes its essence
forging the shallowness that comes
with the loss of humanity"

~ Pearls to be pondered!

Another fine write!

Linda

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

8 posted 2008-05-15 01:29 PM


TD, ‘tis so true—live the day in the day…thank you for your insightful comment.

sharyn, thank you for your ever gracious compliments

Helen, so glad you found enjoyment in this simple write

Ida, thank you kindly and honored to think you think of it as a’ keeper’

Art, sounds like it put you back in philosophy class…regarding time, one of my favorite Buber quotes is:” To be old can be glorious if one has not unlearned how to begin.”

Alison, thank you and, of course, feel free to read it as many times as you like

Linda, I am honored by your gracious and kind comment

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